About damn time.

I know I've been slacking. There has been a severe lack of updates lately. Some of you may have actually mistaken this for my sister's blog. But I'm back. And I come bearing an update. If you're nice – I might even keep it up this time.

We made a trip to the Doctor of Babies again the other day. Everything checks out good – and no shots this time around. But the kid's got a memory. She was fine in the doctor's office until we got into the exam room ... and as soon as she saw that paper-covered table she started wailing. And wailing. And didn't stop until well after everything was over.

The only real update out of the visit is something we all knew already – the girl's little. Hard to believe that she's a year and a half old and she only weighs in at 22 pounds. And we all know it's not for lack of eating ...

But I hear you. "Enough with the blah, blah, blah – get on with the photos." So here we go – I live to serve.

Kaylee's favorite pre-dinner game involves pulling everything out of the cabinets. And sometimes finding new places to put them.

Kaylee took a trip to Gymboree this morning – and loved it. It's basically a room covered in mats, with all manner of slides, parachutes, balls, lots of kids and a barely 20-year-old woman making a complete fool of herself (and seriously getting on my nerves). We're thinking about signing her up for a 12 week course – but it's a 20 minute drive from the house.

(And check out those boogers – mmmmmmmmm.)

And tunnels. Kaylee dug the tunnels.

Just kickin' back. Enjoyin' breakfast. Wonderin' why Dad hasn't yelled at me to get my foot off the table yet ...

Tonight at dinner, Kaylee discovered the wonder of apples. She likes the juice, she likes the sauce – I guess she just never realized that the flavor came in this easy to carry package.

Kaylee and I teamed up to draw "Man-Man" (how cute is that?) on the table.
The kid's responsible for the eye-beams. I have to take credit for the rest – even if it does look like a 7-year-old drew it. (To my defense, I was drawing upside-down.)

Yes Dad, these are the skills my college education paid for.

Just one of the many examples of why it's so damn hard to say no to the kid. Look at that face ... don't you just want to spoil her?

Update ...

... soon. I promise. There's photos on the camera just waiting to be downloaded ... but we've been busy playing Rock Band.

Kaylee likes Rae's singing. Crazy kid.

One month and counting 'til Sliders ...

Kaylee's first movie

So we finally broke down and took the kid to see her first movie tonight. But we took advantage of the great weather (about 73 degrees as I type this) and took her to the drive-in. The lot was full, the top was down, Indiana Jones was doing his thing (2.5 out of 5 stars or so) and the kid was behaving – for the most part.

She was great, as long as we didn't try to put her to sleep. But we didn't figure that out until she spent 5 minutes screaming at the top of her lungs. After Rae calmed her down, everything went smoothly. The kid just climbed all over dad and the car and bounced up and down clapping at the end of the movie. I think she likes John Williams.

And since Kaylee got her first movie – I decided to throw together a new movie for you.



Kaylee today: Up way past her bedtime

Practice run

To get ready for our upcoming trip to the beach house, Rae is practicing her family-friendly recipes. Tonight – chicken pizza.

Kaylee approves.

She also approves of Dairy Queen.

Storm warning

We got our first real taste of the "terrible twos" tonight. About an hour of yelling and screaming and crying and pushing and floor pounding and more screaming and yelling and crying. We haven't seen a tantrum like this since – well, since we were around someone else's kids.

All that was missing was "I hate you! I wish I'd never been born!" before stomping off to her room and slamming the door. (Luckily, I think we have a few years before that kicks in.)

And all this just because she didn't want to eat dinner. She wanted a cereal bar. And mean old mom and dad said she had to eat ravioli. Poor kid. And then it took both of us to get her pajamas on her. (More kicking and screaming and ... ) Several time outs later she was so worn out that she could barely fight us when we declared it bedtime.

I guess that counts as one victory for the evening.

Kaylee today: Fine ... until about an hour ago.

Cleaning house

So you remember all that free stuff we got from family and friends? All the used clothes and nipples and boxes of random toys? Well we decided to pay it forward – and give all of our baby stuff (well, except for the things Rae plans on bronzing for the "Kaylee's First Year Museum of Natural History") to a friend of Rae's who is expecting her first kid in a few months.

We dug out walkers and onesies and play sets and breast pumps – and a car seat. A car seat that someone wasn't quite ready to get rid of.

4 month old pic posted to give you a size reference.

And another ...

Never trust a toddler to feed you raisins.
They won't end up in your mouth.

Mom and the kid ... just being sassy.

Hat trick

Three days in a row. Woo!

"Stoopid papparazzi!"

Download day 2

Kaylee wants to know where the bird flew away to.

Freshly downloaded

Hooked up the camera today and realized that we hadn't done that for a couple of weeks. So get ready to enjoy several updates in a row!!!

A big thanks to Sheryl for the new monkey placemat.

It makes a great hat.

Mothers Day: Now with photos!

So I know this "magic trick" where I can take a crayon, stick it up my nose, pull it out my ear, etc. This photo shows why you don't teach the trick to a toddler. (But at least I used the crayon and not the steak knife.)

We spent the afternoon drawing with chalk on the driveway.
And hugging.

It's been a week ...

... since last we updated. A quick recap.

• Kaylee didn't sleep well with Rae gone.
• Rae missed Kaylee and called all the time.
• Rae came back and Kaylee slept just fine.
• Mike got his wireless network up – so he's now playing Grand Theft Auto online.
• Rae rolled her eyes.
• Mike won a major award – and got a pot instead of a leg lamp.
• It was Mother's Day and Rae got a hummingbird feeder for birdwatching with Kaylee.

And that's about it. Exciting lives, no?

And my sister finally updated her blog with some nice pictures of the kid. (And her kid too.)

Dirtiest. Baby. Ever.

You know Rae is out of town when the kid is this filthy. After her bath – I swear you could skim a layer of dirt and grime off the top of the water.

You know how you can take a piece of chicken, roll it in egg, and then bread crumbs – bake it in the oven and it gets a nice crispy crust to it?

The same thing can be accomplished with a baby, yogurt, a back yard full of dirt and the Tucson sun.

I think we're going to have to burn the clothes.

An update of sorts

OK - I've been neglecting the blog. But things have been really busy around here. This is really the first chance I've had to sit down at the computer and throw something together. (But at least I've updated the site with all my wedding photos. I'm looking at you sis.)

And then when I did sit down to upload these really great pictures of Kaylee eating at her brand new monkey place mat (a gift from a generous reader - hint, hint) – the computer locked up and ate the files.

But I'm putting this up now to let you know that we're still alive – and that you should expect another delay in your next shipment from The Monkey House. But this time it's not my fault. Rae is taking a business trip and will be gone Sunday through Thursday. I'm going to be so busy chasing the kid around, I doubt I'll have time for anything else. Well, not much else.

Pima County Fair!

So Rae wanted to get out of the house today. (I guess that trip home less than a week ago wasn't enough to get "stir crazy" out of her system.) We had plenty of options: Mariachi Festival at Ried Park, Chalk art festival downtown – but I bit the bullet and took the girls to Rae's favorite place on earth. The county fair.

It's not that I hate the fair. Or even dislike it all that much. I just see it as shoddy rides, food poisoning waiting to happen and skeevy men with sunburns and mullets trying to goad me into winning a $2 teddy bear to prove to my woman that I'm a man.

In other words – it's great fun as long as you wear rubber gloves and don't look the carnies directly in the eye. (They can eat your soul don'tcha know.)

But Kaylee seemed to like it despite my reservations.

The first hit was the sandbox. It was our first stop on the way in – and one of our last on the way out. We spent nearly $80 – and one of her favorite things was a pile of dirt.

I think this was more for Rae that it was Kaylee – though one of her new words is "ewephun." That would be one of Kaylee's new words – not Rae.

But the petting zoo ... Kaylee's all about the petting zoo.

She loved the goats ...

... and the pony ...

... and the cow ...

... but mostly the goats.

My shoulder was as close as Kaylee got to a ride this year. But she loved the music coming from the merry-go-round ... and watching the kiddie roller coaster kept her entertained.

"American Gothic" – Monkey House-style.

The FFA area isn't a petting zoo, but good luck telling her that. We pulled her hands out of more chicken, rabbit, pig and alpaca cages ... it was rather difficult to keep up with her.

And, of course, she found the ducks.

"For some reason, my dad never gets tired of telling people that the ever-popular Big Eli ferris wheels are built in his home town. I don't get it. I just wave and look cute."

Kaylee today: Fair. (Oh, I kill me.)

Going to the chapel …

For the five percent of you who weren't there – we made a trip back to central Illinois for Dad's wedding this weekend. Grandpa Charlie managed to (bribe, drug, coerce) talk a lovely lady into marrying him and joining our (loony bin) family.

On our way …

So now I've got my very own stepmother and Kaylee gets a Grandma Cindy (or whatever other cute title she might come up with.)

So welcome to the family Cindy. You had your chance – you're stuck with us now.

Many, many photos follow. (And I'm sure my sister will post some of her fancy photos to her blog just to show me up.)

Addendum – I just realized that the only photos of the blushing bride are from extreme distances. Oops. We'll have to remedy that in July. Cindy – you just need to stick closer to the kid. ;-)

The wedding

Can I just say – who's the luckiest guy there is?

I have no idea where this picture came from. I'd never, in a million years, face the wrath of Father Kip by taking photos in the middle of the ceremony. This just magically appeared on my phone. It's a wedding miracle!

Why is it that all the cute photos of Kaylee have Uncle James in them?

When Alice was playing in the window, we all knew she was going to fall. We all watched. One of us just happened to have the camera out at the time.

Easily Kaylee's favorite part of the day – bubbles.

The new Mötley Crüe.

A grand reception

Kaylee got her balloon. Kaylee was happy.

One of the flower girls apparently had a little too much to drink and ran around the reception topless. I'll give you a hint – it wasn't MY daughter.

Whenever we try to get all the great-grandchildren together with GG for a photo it always seems to be a bit chaotic. This time was no exception.

Mom introduces Kaylee to the Chicken Dance.
God help me – I think she liked it.

Uncle James – chick magnet. (As long as she's under the age of five.)

Dad introduces Kaylee to "Shout!" Another wedding reception staple – but leaps and bounds ahead of the Chicken Dance.

Uncle James seems to spend a lot of time on the floor. Usually with one of his nieces sitting on him. (And all without the aid of alcohol!)

Just hangin' out

No trip to Grandpa Charlie's is complete without a trip to the park.

She may look like she's enjoying this – but I think that Kaylee was actually pretty sick of Dad making her run through the flowers so he could get a decent picture at this point.

Just hanging out on the front porch with Mom.

We were all surprised how quickly "KeeKee" and "Ahlah" took to each other. I'm betting the beach is going to be a lot of fun in July!

One last wave as we head back north …