This has nothing to do with Kaylee

But this website is too good not to pass on.

Overheard ...

"The way she was playing with my belly the other day – I really think she'd love to have some Play-Doh."

Rae – who realized as soon as she said this that it would end up on the blog. Poor Rae.

Updates of sorts

Tooths: She's officially sporting four teeth these days. Two on top and two on the bottom. She looks like a little beaver. And the way she's been chewing on things – Rae thinks there are more on the way. She's also showing a bit of the "Rice Gap" between her two top teeth ... we'll see if that's something she outgrows or not.

Words: "Dadee" and "Mum" have been staples for a while now, but she's starting to really use other words now. (Not just fluky wordish sounding things like in the past.) She likes to throw the "bawbaw" and play catch with "Ahday" and Porkchop. She loves to chase the "keekees" and freaks out whenever she sees a "pawpee" on TV. Her "uh uh uhs" are slowly becoming "me me mes" when she sees something she wants. Oh – and she's started putting her finger to her mouth and shushing us when we're too loud. Way too cute.

Shoes: The kid is obsessed with her shoes. She likes to carry them. She bends over to stare at them on her feet. When she is "me me me-ing" at her shelves it's often because she wants her slippers – not one of the many toys. She'll sit for hours (OK - minutes. But that's hours in toddler time.) trying to put shoes on her feet. And then there's our shoes. She wears them. Carries them around the house. Brings them to us. Puts them away for us. I swear we've got a little Imelda Marcos on our hands.

More zoo

The weather has officially warmed up (not that it ever seems really cold here) and everyone is relatively healthy, so we celebrated with another trip to the zoo. (For the amount of time we spend there, we really need to just get a membership.) Turned out to be a pretty good trip since Kaylee is at the age where she can finally enjoy it and run around a bit.

Yes, polar bears in the desert. The pair were very active this afternoon and Kaylee watched them for about 15 minutes. She kept trying to call them like she does the cats at home.

Birds were the big hit though. Lots of pointing and screeching.
That's Kaylee* – not the birds.

We had a hard time getting her away from the flamingos – she kept trying to figure out how to get out to them. If there hadn't been a fence, I think we would have had a wet toddler** on our hands.

We arrived at the giraffe enclosure just in time for feeding.
Unfortunately, Rae couldn't quite figure out the zoom.

For some reason, Kaylee wasn't really fond of the giraffe's two-foot long, purple tongue. The poor kid practically crawled on to my back trying to get away from it.

By the time we reached the otters, she was fading fast. Not even two cute, swimming cat-rat-things could keep her head off the railing.

It took all of thirty seconds for her to pass out on the drive home.

Kaylee today: iwantiwantiwantiwant

* Also note the cute hair. Kaylee finally has enough that she can sport TWO pigtails instead of just the one Ed Grimley spike. And Rae got her sassy new do yesterday – after more than a year away from the salon. Being seen in public with these two does wonders for your self-esteem.
** Funny, unrelated story. As we were sitting down to eat lunch, we watched a family walk in to the zoo. Within seconds – their little girl fell into a puddle, was covered in mud and was screaming bloody murder. The family promptly left. I've never laughed so hard in my life. Of course now that I've made fun of them, something similar will happen to us and I will be forced to find the humor in it. Luckily, Rae plans on bringing the kid a change of clothes until she's at least fifteen. I'm sure THAT will cost a bundle in therapy bills though ... I just can't win.

Photo-rama-jama

Someone got Kaylee a subscription to Ranger Rick magazine. She loves the pictures of animals – I love that someone out there is still supporting print media!

Check it out – more teeth! She can finally bite stuff.
Just make sure to keep your fingers clear.

For some reason Rae thought it would be a good idea to let Kaylee feed herself yogurt. I got the "Mike – can you bring us a paper towel" call at least twice.

Feel the love

So I picked up something nasty while I was away on business in Syracuse last week. Bad enough that while I was sick all last week, I actually stayed home today. (After probably sharing my funk with half the office.)

So I spent the day on the couch, watching horrible movies like "American Psycho" and "Norbit." (I don't know why I watched them – perhaps I thought I'd feel better after they were over. For the record – I felt worse.) But I finally perked up a bit when Rae called me to tell me she was picking up Kaylee and coming home.

So when I heard the door open I took my position, half hiding in the hallway so Kaylee could come find me. Hide and seek has been a favorite game for a while – nothing makes her smile wider. So imagine my delight when she runs into the room, points, smiles, screams … and goes running for the TV, where she proceeded to ignore me as she jumped up and down and squealed with delight.

Kaylee's favorite daddy is officially Homer Simpson.

D'oh.

Angry baby

Eddie's not sure what he did wrong ... but I'm sure he's sorry.

Grandpa Charlie wants a photo addendum

Just saw Becky's blog for the first time in about a week.

Dad - I'd be more than willing to take as many "pretty pictures" of Kaylee as you would like.

But first you need to buy me a new camera. This point and shoot can't compete with Becky's monster.

Grandpa Charlie wants a photo

While I was gone on a business trip, Dad called up Rae and asked her to tell me to post a nice picture of Kaylee "looking pretty" on the blog. Not a "booger inspection" photo.

Apparently, my sister has been posting some very cute photos of my niece on her blog. Dad would like me to do the same.

Well tough.

You see, around here we don't do "pretty." Kaylee is already too cute. If I prettied her up and posted a photo – your brains wouldn't be able to take it. Your eyes would explode and your face would melt. And Kaylee doesn't like blind, melty-faced people.

So as a public service to you, we only bring you booger photos. And messy face photos. And trucks. Trucks with Spider-Man front and center.

But we also throw in monkey pajamas and little teapots … here at The Monkey House, we're willing to meet you half way.

Kaylee today: Mother-truckin'

Cooking class

Kaylee has graduated from playing with pots on the floor to actually helping Rae out on the stove.

And by helping, I mean tasting.

Photo-rama

Just because Kaylee and Eddie are the best of friends doesn't mean that she likes everything about him. His ears stink, he eats her food and that tongue is a killer.

Booger inspection.

Kaylee loves books.
Even if she doesn't really have the hang of them yet.

The things you learn

Did you know your phone can be changed from working on the tone system to working on the rotary system?

And did you know that it's easy enough for a child to do?

And did you know that you can't navigate a touch-tone phone system (like a help desk for instance) while you're set for rotary?

And did you know that if you call the phone company to report the problem, one of their first questions is "Do you have a small child?"

And did you know they laugh at you as you hang up?

Kaylee's adventures in Dork Land

It's all my fault if she grows up liking Star Trek and Spider-Man. I took Kaylee to another comic book convention this weekend. This time just a bit up the road in Phoenix. I can't say that we were terribly impressed – but as Rae said "It got us out of the house."

Kaylee's been to shows before - but she was definitely more aware of her surroundings this time. Especially the freaks. And by freaks I mean people in costumes – and judging by the smell (l'eau du fanboy) many of them share a rare soap allergy.

Not too sure what to think about Darth Vader. But all in all she took the Dark Lord of the Sith pretty well – it think it helped that when he spoke he sounded more like Conan O'Brien than James Earl Jones.

But the blue lady Jedi with tentacles on her head? Not a fan.
She's supposedly one of the good guys – but look at the way she finds joy in a child's screams of terror. Beware the blue Jedi – I'm pretty sure they eat children.

Kaylee accompanied me to the con's sketch competition. It's a great idea, they have all the professionals sketch ideas from the audience – and then auction them off for charity.

But even Kaylee knows that no one wants to buy a drawing of Superman wearing a fruit hat – no matter who drew it.

We took a break outside on the lawn. Rae took a nap and Kaylee inhaled a snack.

But the Costumed Ones seem to have followed us outside! And they don't seem to friendly – they keep throwing big red balls at each other! I think they're angry! Run!!

Watch out Kaylee! The Nintendo character (who really needs a pair of pants) is going to get you!

Can't go that way either! The high-school kid with a bad wig and Lee Press-On-Nails on his toes will see you!

Back in dad's car, it takes Kaylee all of two minutes before she passes out.
(And sleeps the entire drive home.)

Kaylee today: Conned.

Beware Pushghetti Face

And just when I thought those fork lessons were finally beginning to pay off.

Spoken today

"Please don't chew on Jesus."
I'm sure every parent says this at least once.

Family Arts Festival Fun

Kaylee was just a little too young for most of the crafty stuff this year.
Maybe next time. We did manage to find a couple of things to do though.

Either A) Rae managed to get a nice, artsy shot of dad and Kaylee walking hand in hand or B) Rae doesn't know how to use the camera very well.
Either answer is acceptable.

Kaylee's not too sure what to think about all this green stuff.
Where's the dirt? And rocks?

While Rae had a great time making the bug antennae princess crown for her – Kaylee wanted nothing to do with it. Even if it did make her look really cute – but you'll have to take my word for it. This is the closest I could get to a photo of her wearing it.

"If I did that – do you think I'd get in trouble?"
or "I wonder what THAT tastes like."

You thought grass was confusing?
Meet the dead antelope, stilt-walker mime thing.
It scares me too. Especially his leotard.

It may be Rae's favorite fair food –
but corn on the cob is especially difficult to eat when you only have two teeth. And they are both on the bottom.

And we got our picture taken by the fine folks at the Arizona Daily Star.
See if you can find us.

Kaylee today: Fair.

Healthy again

Kaylee loves to rock her sunglasses. Of course it would help if she would keep them on her head for longer than ten seconds.

Other than the occasional cough and the snotty nose – Kaylee is back to her old self again. She spent yesterday playing hide and seek in the used book store and just running away from mom and dad in general.

Of course she'd stop every five feet just to make sure one of us was chasing her.

I also took her on her first trip in the convertible with the top down. That didn't go so well. Between the sun in her eyes and the wind in her face she was the most miserable child I've ever seen. I only drove two blocks before I stopped to put the top back up.

Maybe if she'd learn how to keep those sunglasses on …

Kaylee today: At the Family Arts Festival!

HAIKU FIGHT!!!

my poor, sick, monkey
cough and hack like an old man
won't let me sleep late

The more things change

Kaylee hasn't been feeling well, and last night was no exception. She woke herself up at about 5 a.m. and there was nothing I could do to put her back down. So I did what any dad (who's wife is sick, so he can't just go wake her up) would do, I took her in the front room and laid down with her on the couch.

She, of course, was immediately asleep. Me – not so much.

Now I don't know if you've ever tried to watch TV at 5:30 on a Saturday morning, so let me tell you – there's nothing on. So as I lay there with 20-something pounds of baby curled up in the crook of my arm I got to thinking how similar the situation was to one year ago.

How many nights did I wake up to a crying baby and end up wide-awake on the couch with her. Trying not to move a muscle because she just got to sleep – which means she's finally quiet.

I found it humorous how much some things have changed – but how little others have.

She's walking and talking and figuring out new things every day. She doesn't want a bottle of milk – a cup of water will do the trick. Forget the rattle, she wants your cell phone. Wrapped up in a blanket like a burrito? Forget it, we can't even keep her socks on.

But the biggest change? A year ago I had TV shows stock-piled on the Tivo and now I'm stuck watching reruns of "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air."

Stupid writer's strike.

Kaylee today: Bouncy.

Happy New Year

Here's to a new year of flying by the seat of our pants
– and trying not to drop the baby along the way.

Oh, and pie. I hope there will be pie.