"Bye beach."

Only it didn't sound like "beach." It sounded like a similar word that one might get in trouble for saying. Especially when you're not even two-years-old.

Which explains why Uncle Ryan was mortified that he had prompted Kaylee to say it.

We hadn't been at the beach house for even one day – and he was teaching his adorable niece to swear. Sure it was unintentional – but he and Tori had taken the kids on their own and they were responsible for their behavior.

Their curse-laden behavior.

Not that we cared. Hell, we thought it was cute and it became one of the running jokes for the week.

And that's pretty much how vacation went.

If you were there (and about half of the readers of this blog were) you've already seen the photos. You've all got copies of everything and some of you (Maggie) have already beaten me to the punch in publishing your vacation memoirs on the World Wide Intertubes.

But what you don't have yet is my witty banter. And we all know that is the reason everyone reads this blog. It's not about cute pictures of the kid (anyone can post cute pictures and call it a blog), it's all about me. And who am I to disappoint all seven of my fans?

So what follows are my (somewhat random) thoughts on vacation and family and beaches.

And some photos too. Some even feature cute kids.

Just in case you're in to that kind of thing.

Beach house photos one (UPDATED*)

Yes, it's another crappy iPhone picture – but it was just too cute not to include. Especially since Kaylee didn't have her own ticket and was technically considered a carryon.

Kaylee started her vacation hanging out with me, checking out the Fourth of July parade in Arlington Heights while Rae and Maggie hit the gym. I'm pretty sure we had the better time. (Even when you factor in that Kaylee was terrified of the fire trucks.)

Two of the big reasons we planned this vacation. The other would be pie.

Speaking of pie – Kaylee and Alice lend Grandma Cindy a hand.

I had to back up to the wall, hold the camera over my head and shoot blind to try and capture the whole table. Dinner was one of the highlights of every day – there was soooo much food and laughter we never left the table wanting ... well, except for that first day.
We had plenty of laughter, but food ... not so much.

Uncle Ryan spent a lot of time getting to know the girls better. I'm pretty sure it had something to do with the fact that they are the exact opposite of the marines he's been hanging out with.

Teaching kids how to read is important. Teaching kids how to make monster faces while reading is equally important.

A picture from one of our rare trips into town ... and we still spent time down by the water. This is the end of the pier by the public beach.
You know ... the beach everyone else had to use because they didn't have access to a PRIVATE beach.

We're so cool.

Kaylee is confused by Uncle James' Windows-based laptop.

Story time was one of the few chances Grandpa Charlie had to get close to Kaylee. She's still not sure about the big guy, but if you distract her with her favorite book ...

Many bellies were exposed. Many zerberts were blown. And there was much rejoicing.

"Seriously?"

* Because I'm dumb and forgot to upload a photo.

Beach house pictures two

One of the few pictures of all three of us.
I swear, I have to do everything myself ...

Yes the water was cold.
Though we usually opted to swim without the sweatshirts.

"Hey wait a second ... YOU'RE not Dad!"

"Ummmm ... Mom? Where'd your legs go?"

Girls in hats.

James channels Mark Hamill as he ponders his future.

OK – I'm not being mean in this photo. I'm teaching the girls a life lesson. Never trust Mike with a bucket of cold water.

S'mores are served best with family, fire and a healthy portion of sand.

When you throw a fit at the beach – you get time out on the beach. And it's cute.

Beach house pictures three

The last day involved a trip to Holland, MI – which apparently is filled with Dutch tourist traps. We found one that looked interesting, paid our arm and a leg admission and proceeded to make fun of an entire culture for the day.

A true Rice / Carlson family bonding experience.

Dutch "duhks."

"Must ... think ... light ... thoughts ... "

Several people took pictures of James being "delivered" by the giant stork statue. Only my angle made it look like a Hitchcock movie though ...

Oh those Dutch and their wacky games.

Maggie, Tori and Cindy got a kick out of the Dutch carousel.

Kaylee, not as much.

You have no idea how hard it was to get this shot.
I was driving in Chicago traffic at the time.

And of course, any vacation to the Chicagoland area isn't complete without a trip to White Castle. Nothing says vacation like committing one of the Seven Deadly Sins with tiny, steamed patties of meat.

Home.

In case the subject line doesn't say it all, we're back.

No more sand-filled S'mores. No more crowded house. No more never-ending games of Uno. No more private beach. No more golf cart. No more warm pie. No more "Papachawie" and "Gammaendee".

But we did bring home two more teeth.

Photos to come. Video to come as soon as Cindy sends them to me.