All Souls procession

Tonight was the All Souls procession through downtown Tucson. It's one part Day of the Dead, one part political protest, one part freak show – but it's 100% Tucson. You know – I've talked about it before.

This is the first year we've been there from start to finish. The start of the procession was lead by masked figures sweeping the ground. Apparently our streets are filthy and they were afraid of getting the little glowing man dirty.

Or it could be symbolic of something. I'm not sure.

This is the urn – the centerpiece of the event. The urn is filled with photos of and messages about / to the deceased. People are encouraged to come up and throw in their notes as it passes by. The urn is then taken to the artsy (OK, this is Tucson - the artsyER) part of town, hoisted up in the air and set ablaze by the aforementioned little glowing man.

At first, Kaylee wasn't sure about all of this. Lots of strange people in makeup and masks - and none of them were handing out candy.

But pretty soon the sheer number of puppies and drums got her into the mood. She even started to get excited by all the skeletons in the crowd.

We ended up marching along with the procession near one of the groups of drummers – bounced and jumped and danced on my shoulders the whole way ... and I'm going to feel it in the morning.

This is what it's all about. Tucson is a city of pyromaniacs.

In the upper left corner you see what's left of the urn. On the right – those are acrobats suspended by another crane twirling in the air with fireworks and flares.

Basically, EVERYTHING is on fire. Hell, there's even a giant torch (like the thing in hot air balloons) that is only there to add MORE fire.

Maggie – this is officially where you start kicking yourself for not being able to make the trip this year. Awe-some.

A new favorite family portrait. Even though we all have red-eye.

Try to look at this photo and not hear Kaylee saying "cheeeeeeeezzzzeeee."

More zoo fun

Monkey, I'd like to introduce you to Monkey.

Her favorite things include combing her hair, playing outside and bananas.

And over here, we have Monkey – who enjoys bugs, running around and making a mess.

You two have a lot in common. I'm sure you'll get along great.

Happy Halloween

Apparently her super-power is the power of cute.

Mail call

Kaylee received a card in the mail with a "cute pickchur" and a "dollar beel" from GG. (Who apparently looks like George Washington, because Kaylee declared it was GG's picture on the money.)

Needless to say, she's mostly interested in the pickchur.

Crazy day

It's CRAZY hair day at school. So we just did pretty much what we do
every morning.

At least it's out of her eyes.

From the Desert Museum

Kaylee prefers her dogs cornless.

HUG TIME!

I couldn't get a reading photo where one of the girls didn't have her
eyes closed or her mouth slack-jawed.

So we'll settle for the big finish.

A long update

Not so much long in what I have to say as it is long in the number of times you'll need to scroll down to view all the photos of my monkey. (Not to be confused with HER monkey - which is stuffed and also pictured.)

For some reason she decided she wanted to do her hair at the dinner table. It started with taking out her pony tail.

Then she wanted to put her pony tail back in.

So, of course, she needs a comb.

And if you're going to style your hair, it has to be wet.

So you use your drinking glass.

Then she had to style the monkey's hair too.

Now picture all of this with her saying things like "I cute?" and "Kaylee do pony tail" and "I brush Monkey George."

Now you can see why I had such a hard time editing down the photos.

Kaylee folds Mom's underpants

Underpants edited out for the comfort of those viewing at home.

(And because Rae made me.)

Pumpkin update

We're feeling a little oranger.

Gotta say, the weather is a little warm for this activity. Just seems a little wrong. Like trying to swim in a blizzard.

Just for fun

I picked up a new app for the phone today. It allows me to make my crappy iPhone camera look like a variety of old cameras.

So yeah, I spent all this money on a smart phone, plus the monthly plan, plus the cost of the app all to take crappy old looking photos.

But isn't it neat?!

Smile.

You've got ballons.

Now, spin.

Picky eater

I'm not sure when it happened.

She used to eat so well whatever we put in front of her.

But lately she's been eating less like Racheal and more like Roberta. (For the Rices out there - that's to say she's got a rather limited palate.)

I'm not asking for much. I just really wish we could get her to eat more than cheese, goldfish and yogurt.

Hug Time

Between this and "Art," we love our Patrick McDonnell books.

Why?

Why must

child bang on

floor with metal

rod when

Dad has a

splitting

headache?

Go to bed already ...

Tonight I'm going to do something a little different.

I'm going to destroy a piece of your childhood.

On the surface, Goodnight Moon is an innocent bedtime story. I'm sure you know it. It's been around for more than 60 years. So the chances are good that it was read to you as a child, you read it to your children, or maybe both.

"In the great green room

There was a telephone

And a red balloon

And a picture of —"

And so begins our tale. Seems simple enough.

There's a cute little bunny child laying in bed – and he (or she) takes a count of everything in the room and then proceeds to tell everything goodnight.

Sweet, huh?

Except it isn't. It's a story about the pains of putting a small child to bed. It's all right there on the page if you're willing to read between the lines a little bit.

See, the baby bunny starts off our tale tucked into bed. The next time we see him? Still wide awake – despite the "old lady whispering hush." The next time? Standing on the bed looking at a painting. And again a few pages later – sitting on the covers, arms crossed in defiance. And still again – this time rolling around and kicking his legs. Finally – after more urging from the old lady – the child is back in the bed, bleary-eyed but still awake.

But Mike, I can hear you saying, you're obviously reading way too much into this beloved bedtime tale.

Really?

Have you looked at the clocks? That's right. There are clocks in the background of the illustrations. And what do the clocks tell us?

Well, it's 7 pm (I'm assuming it's PM – the title of the book has "night" in it after all) when baby bunny is first seen in bed. And then 7:20 by the time he's done looking around the room. And we still have to fidget around the bed and play the "say good-night to everything" to avoid going to sleep game.

It's 8 pm when the old lady has finally had enough and tells the brat to lay down already. At 8:10 the kid has finally passed out – but the old lady has already given up and is probably on her way to the pantry to fix herself a stiff drink.

That's more than an hour of fighting this child before they finally pass out from exhaustion. Does this still sound like a cute little bedtime story to you?

Now take into account that if your child loves this book (and kids love this book – at least mine does) you have to read this story EVERY night. Which means you have to relive this old lady's anguish over and over and over again. That's right, the author knows the pain you go through every night and she is mocking you.

I don't know about you, but I think that Margaret Wise Brown was one sick lady.

OK, yeah.

Apparently she CAN get cuter.

Seriously ...

Is she going to get cuter?
I don't know if I could take it.

Golf pro

First of all, let me tell you how great it is to be able to update the blog from my phone. (Even if the formatting is off and I have to fix the text wrap later from a browser.) Now I can do quick updates from wherever I want. Usually with pictures.

Spent the afternoon mini golfing (Kaylee's first time duffing) with Mel and Kaylee's favorite person, Johnny.

There was a little putting, a little kicking, a little throwing - but the favorite way to get the ball down the green seemed to be just picking it up and running with it.

And it seemed to work. Kaylee was the only one of us who finished under par.

And again

I'm not sure who the second child is, or why Rae is kicking the baby.

Also didn't realize until JUST now how disturbing chalk outlines of the entire family could be. It looks like a happy crime scene.

And more

The mural keeps growing. Too bad it's supposed to rain today.

Email update

Coming to you live from the very edge of my wifi coverage (the driveway). We decided to break out the Manman sidewalk chalk - only about three months late.

I'm golden

1. Daughter is still experiencing growing pains related to attending a new school.

2. She has just been diagnosed with an ear infection AND pneumonia.

3. Economy is in fiscal ruin and is likely to degenerate into a system using spices, canned goods and children as currency any day now.

4. I am getting ready to board a flight to Baltimore – ditching my wife and child for the long weekend in favor of a long weekend of "hanging out with the guys."

How do you spell Parent of the Year?

M-I-K-E

But wait! There's more!

And how about a little video to round things out.

I know. I'm too good to you.

If you wait long enough, it will happen.

Yes, I've finally updated. I commend the Maggie's of the blogoshpere for not nagging me about posting. (I know it was hard for you.) There were a million and one things to take care of – and unfortunately updating the blog was at the bottom of the list.

Kaylee had her last day at her old day care yesterday. I was the lucky one, I got to drop her off. So I only had to deal with the threats of kidnapping ("You know your baby won't be here when you come back, right? I'm gonna snatch her up.") while Rae had to deal with the tearful good-byes. (And this is Rae we're talking about. There were tears.) Kaylee's class even made her a good-bye card complete with photos and painted hand prints. It also made Rae cry.

Kaylee starts the new school on Monday. This will also make Rae cry.

Kaylee is really enjoying "helping" Rae with any food prep. (And by helping I mean mixing the banana bread until half of it is on the floor.) They say that if you let kids help you cook, they are more likely to be interested in eating. That may be true for banana bread – but I don't think the theory holds water when it comes to vegetables.

This Skype thing is pretty cool. Kaylee is always asking to "see picture Alice" – and now those picture move and talk back. Pictured is a "picture James" – not quite the same, but a decent substitute.

We made another trip to the zoo last weekend.
The flamingos were a hit ...

... and they inspired imitation.

The bird house is always a favorite destination. It's a huge enclosure where you get up close and personal with birds of all sizes and colors. Kaylee loves hunting for them and watching their every move.

Unless they get too close to her stroller. Because that's HER stroller, and she'll be damned if any stupid bird gets to ride in it.

We also made the switch to a big girl bed. (Which you know if you've been following the Twitters.) It's the exact same bed, we just took the front panel off.

It freaked her out a bit at first ...

... but the first night went OK ...

... but we've also found her like this a few times. I don't know if she's rolling or climbing out, but either way we find her on the floor every now and then.

Last night she wasn't feeling very well when she went down, and later I found her passed out on the floor next to a pile of vomit. I didn't think that was supposed to happen until college. And even then she's not supposed to tell me about it.

uh-huh

There's an update, with photos, coming. I swear. Once I get around to it. Monday is just a bad, bad, bad day.

Oh - and I'm still working on gathering the footage I need for the video. I'm not slacking, my subject just doesn't want to cooperate. Besides, most of you have seen her Mr. T impression already.

She pities the fools.

Currently obsessed with ...

TRUCKS – to the point where she will stop eating and cry until you let her out of her chair so she can look out the window. Too bad Papa Allen isn't driving the big rigs anymore, I think she'd get a kick out of that.

Fun day

I started off my morning by making two women cry. Or at least pushing them to the verge of tears. The two in question would be Kaylee's teacher and the woman who runs the daycare.

I told them that next week would be Kaylee's last with them – and that we're switching her to a preschool. They weren't happy. But it's nice to know that she'll be missed! 

Apparently – most of the daycare was in a funk as word spread. It's apparent that Kaylee really has become one of the favorites of the staff. And while we're sure Kaylee will miss them (not to mention some of the kids) we're sure she's going to love the new place.

Even if it is more expensive. And a little further away from my office. And we have to pack her lunch every day.

More later. Sleep now.

Vegas: By the numbers

So I'm back from my Vegas trip. (All work and no play makes Mike a dull boy.) It was great to get out and recharge my batteries and to see colleagues from around the world – but I'm happy to be home with my girls again.

4 • Number of nights spent at the swank Red Rocks Spa and Casino in Las Vegas.

160 • Starting nightly rate for a hotel room at the hotel. (Thank god for the conference discount!)

12 • Approximate miles from "the strip."

0 • Minutes spent actually on "the strip."

75 • Gambling losses. (Pai Gow is lots of fun and slightly addictive – I'm glad my group left the table while I still had some chips in my hand.) 

75 • Total amount spent on gambling. (That's right – ZERO winnings. I rule.)

2 • Average time I went to bed.

7:30 • Average time I woke up in the morning.

2 • Number of drinks actually purchased for myself during the entire trip.

? • Number of drinks actually consumed. (There's a lot of free booze in Vegas.)

4 • Strikes bowled at the Casino's VIP lanes.

2 • Number of sessions I actually chose to attend. (The rest of the time I was running around working the conference.)

1 • Pay-per-view movies watched from the comfort of my room when I was feeling slightly antisocial. (No, not one of THOSE movies ... )

10 • Number of seconds it took Kaylee to want to go to Rae once all three of us were finally in the same place again. :-P

All in all a great trip. I can't wait to go back – but next time, I'll take Rae with me. Who wants Kaylee for a weekend?!

Not that you were expecting an update ...

But you're going to have to wait a while for one. I'm Vegas-bound, which means no child updates for the next few days. (Unless Rae decides to pose as me and post. But she won't have time to do that.) In the meantime know that I've got some video coming ... and she's cute.

A few random updates

• Kaylee's getting more and more timeouts. Mainly for throwing fits, testing boundaries, etc. You'd think she was approaching 2-years-old or something.
  
• I think a big part of it comes from the day care we have her in. (Because I see it in the behavior of those evil, evil children when I drop her off in the mornings.) Hence Rae and I scoping out a few new schools when I get back next week.
  
• Kaylee is officially calling all the animals by name instead of just "kiki" and "puppy." Now we have "Mas," "Gabby," "Eddie" and "Chrpchop."
  
• Kaylee is very excited about my trip because I'll be on an "airpayne." The only thing she loves more is the neighbor kid's "byekycle."
  
• The potty is going over well – and she uses it almost every time we change her diaper. Now we just need to get her to tell us she needs to use it before we change her diaper.
  
• Rae has been trying to figure out what to call Kaylee's underpants (diapers right now, of course). She started out with "knickers" but decided to switch to "panties" after a rather unfortunate mispronunciation. Believe it or not, even Kaylee can't make racial slurs cute.
• "Green Eggs and Ham" appears to be the new favorite book. I'm glad since it was one of my favorites – but damn, that's a long book at bedtime.
  
• Kaylee doesn't quite know the difference between Quicktime and Skype. She was very excited to see the movie of Alice that Becky posted – but was a little confused when Alice wouldn't answer her. (Though she enjoyed going along with the Happy Birthday prompts from Becky.)
  

I'm going to quit before I've got an accidentally unofficial "Ten on Tuesday" on Saturday.

Like mother ...

Wii would like to play. And Kaylee would too.

Window watching

Just a random picture of a little girl and her bumble.

Bird watching.

Dress up

It started with a random request for earrings. (I'm not really sure where that came from – Rae doesn't wear them that often.) From there we got a request for a belt ... and before you knew it, Kaylee was embarking on her first official game of dress up. (You should have seen Rae's face when she realized this. I'm pretty sure this was more fun for her than it was for Kaylee.)

We got up to clip-on earrings, a canvas belt and two different pairs of shoes before Kaylee decided it was more fun to play in the closet. (Please ignore how filthy the mirror doors are.)

But in the closet she found dad's "black duck" shirt and had to try it on. Then she got REALLY excited by the home jersey (the "big black duck" shirt) – but slammed her finger in the closet door before she got around to trying it on.

Wordle

This page has just been Wordled. Try it out yourself.

Dinnertime with the kid

"How does this damn bib work?"

"Stylish – but not quite."

"That's not going to do it either."

Poor, abused cat.

Because I'm bored.

I present ...

... the only photo I have ever taken with 1,520 miles between subjects.

Saturday we ...

... helped Mom play with her new Wii. Jumping over toddlers increases the difficulty of Wii Fit – but you don't get any extra points for it.*

... found a praying mantis on the wheel of the Mustang. Kaylee was cool with it – as long as it wasn't running in her direction. (A trait she gets from her mother.)

... decided this was a safer place for the little guy than the wheels of a car. Especially since we were getting ready to leave the house. (And how about that shot? Can you say Macro lens?)

... had a KFC picnic dinner at the park. Greasy chicken, flat Pepsi, dry biscuits and mac & cheese that had likely been sitting there for 7 hours. Mmmmm-mmmmm good!

... fed the ducks our leftover biscuits. (Note the SpongeBob Band-Aid on the crippled finger. It's not Manman, but it's yellow. And that makes it good enough.)

And then the battery on the camera died.

* NOTE: Picture is really from Thursday – but I loaded it in on Saturday and for the sake of some sort of a narrative in this post, decided to just pretend. I could have just passed it off, but one or two of you smarter readers (I'll let you decide who I'm taking about) would have realized that Kaylee is wearing a different outifit. I could have concocted a cover story involving finger paint – but then you probably would have complained (I'm talking about Maggie now) until I scanned the painting because you had to see it. And then I would have had to make a snarky comment about how "I don't owe you anything" or "you'll take what I give you and like it" and I really don't have time for all of that. So just pretend this picture is from Saturday. It will save all of us a lot of time in the long run.

Ladies and gentlemen ...

... we have potty. And it only took 57 days until first splash down.

Now we'll see if she can do it again ...

Don't mind the mess

I started this morning by playing around in Photoshop to create a new banner for the page ... just kept going and ended up with a new template. I'm going to have to figure out how to fix a few default settings (like that dotted rule has GOT to go), but I like it for the most part.

At least for now.

If you can't find something, I've accidentally deleted it. Let me know and I'll see about putting it back where it belongs. Or not. It depends how much I like you and if the deletion was accidentally on purpose.

Belated birthdays

In case you hadn't heard, Rae had a birthday last week. There were balloons, salmon kabobs, wine, cheesecake, a Wii, phone callers singing in harmony, phone callers not singing in harmony, several annoying cards with pre-recorded birthday messages (Kaylee loved these) and a very special birthday card made of yellow construction paper, drawn with yellow markers and held together with yellow Band-Aids.

I'm still not sure why the fine folks at day care thought Spongebob Squarepants adhesive bandages would be what made the card extra special – but these are the same people who are teaching serial killer 101.

Today, as part of the official birthday weekend, we started off the day at the zoo* where we saw all kinds of cool things. Basically the same cool things we see every time we go to the zoo – but I guess almost two-year-olds see things a little differently. (Either that or they just have really bad long-term memories.) But we talked to monkeys, laughed at the otters, shot water at mom and got a little closer to feeding the giraffe. (That über-tongue just freaks her out.)

The day wrapped up with a trip to a friend's pool – where Kaylee got to experience swimming in something larger than the bathtub, but a little less fishy-smelling than Lake Michigan. Loads of fun and Kaylee was super cute in her little green swimsuit.

So, of course, I forgot the camera.

I'd blame it on Rae, but it's her birthday.



* A NOTE TO THE SOCIALLY INEPT: Dear lady. I think it was wonderful of you to tell your 10-year-old daughter and her cousin that it was rude when they cut in front of my child at the zoo this morning. My cute, adorable, not-even-two-year-old daughter. Manners are something that children do not come by naturally – they must be taught. That you were willing to stop your child and tell her that what she had done was inconsiderate is commendable. So imagine how surprised I was when you then did a complete 180 and then encouraged your kid to stop and pose for a picture. And then had her pose for a picture with her cousin. And then had her cousin pose for a photo on her own. Did I mention that my child was still standing there, waiting patiently for your kids to get out of the way? Did you not notice my wife and I standing there, staring at you with open mouths? We eventually gave up and walked away while you and your kin continued your photo-op. I figured it was just best to get my child as far away from you before she picked up any of your bad habits (and before I taught her any choice four letter words.) Some may say that you needed to be confronted, that if allowed to walk all over an innocent child you would just continue to do so in the future. I like to think that karma will take care of you and yours. So when little Sally comes home pregnant at fourteen or your pickup truck is clipped at a stoplight by a speeding SUV maybe you'll finally remember the lesson that it's not always easy to wait – but sometimes it's important.

Just for Maggie

Maggie's giving me a hard time about not updating my blog.

I really don't have any new stories. I haven't picked up the camera all week. I didn't take a trip on a train to visit a big shiny bean. My clothes aren't moldy. I'm not going through any legal proceedings. Things are pretty status quo. So I've really got nothing to add. Especially not 10 things.

Me? I strive for quality over quantity – and I refuse to give my audience less than they deserve. I'm even putting way too much thought into this post.

So I'll stop.

Twitterpated.

OK - playing around with something I've been meaning to do for MONTHS now.

Over at the top of the rail you'll notice a new item - Twitter updates. For the three of you who don't know what that is – think of it as instant blogging. I'll be posting short notes there whenever the mood strikes me. (And it's a lot easier to do on the phone than it is to update the blog.)

Be warned ... I've got a life (barely) outside baby-land. And real life may seep in. Just turn a blind eye to any profanities. I'll try to keep it clean.