So you really want to know?

So, as you know, I accompanied Rae to the Baby Doctor again this morning. Well, it wasn't The Baby Doctor - rather one of her many minions. Our goal - show me the money. Boy or girl, I don't care, just give me two arms, two legs, ten fingers and toes.

So we're escorted into a dark room. Rae is instructed by the Baby Doctor Minion (hence-forth known as the BDM) to lie down on the table and whip out her belly. I am told to go sit in the corner where I can watch all the action on the television.

TV. I get to watch TV. What a perfect morning. I love TV.

So Rae pulls out the Buddha belly (which is looking quite round these days - hard to believe it will get bigger) and the BDM squeezes a bunch of jelly on to it and begins to move it around with this flashlight/mouse looking thing.

The rest of it is a blur. All of a sudden I'm looking at Himmer in real-time. For the first time. This is so cool. I get to see Himmer's brain and watch hisser heart beat (just like E.T.) and the BDM tells us that Himmer's bladder is currently full. To her that means the kidneys are working properly. It only reminds me that Himmer is swimming around in hisser own pee.


How's that for a first shot? Look on the right and you'll see Himmer's head. S/he's looking up into the camera/flashlight/mouse-looking thingie. You can see eyes, nose, mouth ... Basically Himmer's whole face. It's that skull-looking thing.


Now that's more like it. The typical ultrasound profile. Head on the right, then the body and that flappy thing on the left is Himmer's femur. S/he's all curled up in the fetal position. Go figure. And look at that nose - isn't it cute? Looks like Himmer got Rae's nose. Yay!

But is it a boy or a girl? That's all we want to know!

Yeah - well I had to wait until the end, so you do too.

So the BDM asks us if we want to know the sex of Himmer. And since we're both sick of Himmer, hisser and s/he we both say yes. So the BDM says she'll see if she can get Himmer to cooperate with us so we can find out. Yeah, we got cooperation. We got spread eagle.

Looks like we're going to have to work on teaching her how to sit like a lady.

That's my not so subtle way of telling you we're having a girl.

Rae's a little disappointed. Not because it's a girl - but because she was sure it is a boy. She just wanted to be right.

Me? I'm thrilled. I've got so many new things to experience now. I've never been a gun person - but I'm going out tomorrow to buy a real nice shotgun. I'll probably never fire it - just save it for when she gets to dating age. Then I'll bring it out to polish whenever her would-be boyfriends come by the house.

It's all a lot more real now. Himmer is a her. Now we can start working on names.

Ever seen a baby fly?

So himmer is taking hisser first flight today. (Well, second really, but s/he was way too young to remember the first one.)

I hope s/he isn't one of those people who gets sick and throws up on airplanes. If so, s/he is going to be swimming around in hisser own pee AND vomit.

And I can't imagine that would be pleasant at all.

God I can't wait until we get back and we find out if himmer is a he or a she. Trying to write for dual genders at 3:30 in the morning really hurts your brain.

Month five already?

My how time flies. Today marks the very beginning of month five. Himmer's going to be here before you know it. But you don't want to hear that. You want ...

More random facts about himmer from the Baby Doctor magazine.
(If this doesn't sound familiar, check out month four back in April.)

FACT: My baby is growing ears. But will likely only be able to hear hisser mother for the next month or so. (I'm willing to bet I continue to get ignored well after that.)
FACT: Almost all of the follicles from which my baby's hair will grow develop this month. (Kid - you had better pray you get your mother's genes. Unless you're a girl, in which case you will likely never have to shave your legs.)
FACT: My baby is free-floating in about a pint of amniotic fluid. Said fluid, which is completely replaced every 24 hours, is mostly made up of fetal urine. (Yes, baby pee.) And most of this fluid is removed by himmer swallowing it. (I'm really hoping s/he outgrows this.)
FACT: Himmer's sucking reflex is strong and if hisser thumb should happen to float past hisser mouth, s/he may suck hisser thumb. (Please, no jokes about himmer's inate aptitude to suck.)
FACT: Himmer's bones are developing and Rae is a lot more likely to feel himmer moving around. (Great, more things to blame on the dog.)

10 random things I hope to teach himmer

1. No matter what - do not believe what your grandfather says about me.
2. You'll catch more flies with honey than vinegar. But a pound of bullcrap will get you even further.
3. Trust me when I tell you learn to play a musical instrument now.
4. Beer before liquor, never sicker. Liquor before beer, never fear.
5. Love. Love what you do. Love where life takes you. Love the one who comes with you.
6. This is not to be confused with "Love the one you're with" which is a bad song AND bad advice.
7. Appreciate your mother. I do.
8. Your high school sweetheart is just a practice run.
9. 12 points to a pica; 6 picas to an inch.
10. I don't care what George Lucas says; Han shot first.

Baby doctor update

Another visit to the doctor today.

1. Rae has no nasty blood-based vileness that would harm her or himer. (So the daddy must not be a rock star.)
2. She got to hear himer's heartbeat again. (Which she is still excited about.)
3. She learned how to test her pee for protien and sugar. (When do we stop with the pee tests?)
4. She can take Tylenol. (Which makes me very happy to learn.)
5. She actually lost weight. (Bonus.)
6. Morning sickness should start to taper off soon. (Extra double bonus.)
7. Which should lead to her gaining more weight. (I doubt she's thrilled about that one.)

More news as it breaks.