Lesson plan

Good to know they are starting early with the fundamentals at Kaylee's school. I was afraid all of that would be left to Rae and I to teach her at home.

Pima County Fair

Pony - rode.

Goats - pet.

Carnivored.

Cornivored.

Carouselled.

Ferris Wheeled.

Roger Clyne-ed.

(What she really thought of it.)

Not a bad day.

Our cactus bloomed ...

... and Kaylee learned:

A) The cactus blooms once a year.
B) The flowers smell wonderful.
C) While the flower is soft and delicate, the cactus still hurts like
a sonuvagun when you grab it.

Sure, there's a new baby ...

... but can IzzyButt KNIT? (And yes, she's knitting with drum sticks. What great improvisational skills she has!)

Yeah. We didn't think so.

It's a monkey.

Can't you tell?

Easter eggs

Late, yes. But at least I bothered to upload. (Don't go looking for Easter Egg hunting photos. They didn't turn out.)

Easter swag

Necklace and bracelet and earrings!
(And lots of candy.)
Thanks Grammy!

Sick day

Kaylee came home with a fever today, so we underwent bubble-therapy.

Seems to have done the trick.

My parrot

So Kaylee is at the age where she repeats everything.

Everything.

It's not so bad - that's how they learn. They hear something on TV - or hear you say something - they repeat it and see how you react. That's how kids learn things like how to ask for something, good manners and pronouns. (Coincidentally all things Kaylee is pretty bad at.)

But it's also how they pick up things that you would really rather they didn't. Things like slang, swearing and that comment about my step-mother that could potentially ruin Christmas.

I'm sure you think you know where this is going. "Oh, Kaylee said something inappropriate and it was soooo cute." Well, yeah. Kinda.

I had always assumed that my daughter would randomly say things like "dambuss" and "forking holl – learn to drive!" and "gaddomn forking piece of shot cat possed on the couch again!"* This was one that took me by surprise.

You see, at school today (because this kind of thing NEVER happens at home where parents can just sweep it under the rug and forget about it) Kaylee walked up to her teachers and told them that she was horny.

"I horny." I'm pretty sure that's the exact quote.

The teachers (I'm sure trying to stifle a laugh while speed-dialing CPS) asked her to repeat herself – just to make sure they heard what they thought they heard.

"I horny." Yup. That was it. And I'm sure she looked sooo proud of herself saying it too.

And now you're laughing a little and thinking to yourself "Gee, that's not THAT bad. What's he so worried about?"

Did I mention she had just walked out of the bathroom – buck nekkid, with her diaper around one ankle?

Yeah. That's my daughter.

I must have done something really nasty to my parents to deserve this.

* Spellings obviously changed for the more sensitive – but if you can't figure them out, you don't know me very well.

AL. EEE. GAY. TOR.

I really wish I had the picture of Kaylee with her head in it's mouth.
Priceless.

At the Dead Animal Zoo

Watching the polar bears just isn't the same.

Out for a walk

Too. Damn. Cute.