May the Forks be with you, part II

Highlights from the kid's first full viewing of Star Wars: Episode V

"Daddy. Is Darth Vader mean in this one still?"

"The words are leading up into the sky. That's cool."

"It's a snow monster! Like on Rudolph!"

Giggles. "That's silly. He cut his arm off with his dad's lightsaber."

"I saw a man with a Darth Vader hat. That means he's on Darth Vader's team."

"He put a rope around his legs and made him fall down! He got one!"

"I saw a baby one! (AT-ST)"

X-Wing crashing into Dagobah. "That's what our airplane sound like!"

First glimpse of Vader's bare head. "Why can you see his brains?"

"What do you think, is Yoda a good guy or a bad guy?"

"He's a silly guy."

"He's doing exercises."
"Does he want to be an acrobat?"
"No, he wants to be a Jedi. Like Yoda. And ride on people's backs."

"The ship is coming out! Yoda did it! But Daddy, it's so dirty."

"He's doing a handstand! I wish I could do a handstand."
"And make things float with your brain?"
"No. Just a handstand."

Watching Han get prepped for freezing. "Ow."

"Why did they make him frozen like ice? I don't like that."

"DARTH VADER IS HIS DADDY?!"

"Why's he getting a robot hand?"

Final thoughts on ESB: "I like the other one better. It's not as scary."

May the Forks be with you

Highlights from the kid's first full viewing of Star Wars: Episode IV

"I bet that's the rocket ship Darth Vaders in."

"Hey, they're in the desert. Just like WE live in the desert."

"Wow! That's a big yak!"
"That's a Bantha."
"No Dad. That's a yak."

"Why did the sandy people take his arm apart?"

"How did their house get blowed up?"
"The Stormtroopers did it."
"Well, I'm not scared of them. They're just make believe."

"Why did they destroy her planet? That was mean."

"I don't want to watch this part. They're going to get smooshed."

"Where's Luke?" "
That's Luke."
"No. That's Red 5."

"Why did he tell Luke to use the Forrest?"

"That's it? But they didn't get married!"

Big girl bed

So long toddler bed.

We're moving up to a twin.

And it's bouncy.

Christmas miracles

Kaylee, what do you want for Christmas this year?

A scooter, a round pillow and a mouse that is a clown.

A mouse that is a clown?

Yes.

Where am I supposed to find a mouse that is also a clown?

Daddy. You don't have to. Santa will bring it.

Santa.

Yes, Santa.

Oh, fudge.*

Thank god for moms and two am sewing projects. Did I say moms? I meant Santa.

* Only I didn't say "Fudge." I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the "F-dash-dash-dash" word!

I don't care what else she gets ...

Birthday, Christmas, whatever ... It's going to be hard to beat a 1500 piece Disney Princess art set.

Merry Sithmas

Some kids get excited about going to the mall to see Santa.

Not MY kid.

She got shorter.

Well, her hair did anyway. About eight inches shorter.

Kaylee has been playing with scissors here at Grammy's all week. (No surprise, as cutting paper is one of her favorite things to do.) So I didn't think twice when she got them out last night. She cuts circles and squares and triangles and random other shapes and fast forward to:

Daddy! Look at me! (Complete with shit-eating grin)

What did you ...

I cut my hair! (Proudly displaying a handful of brown locks) Do you like ...

PUT THOSE DOWN. GO. GO TALK TO YOUR MOTHER.

And cue the waterworks.

I feel a little bad. I've been teasing her about cutting her hair for months now. In fact, I've been hoping to chop off the hair for quite some time. The only reason we haven't done it up until now is because Mom wasn't ready to let it go. But the kid kinda forced our hand. (See previous post for the proof.)

I think she was just trying to do what she thought Dad wanted her to do. Poor kid. She should know better than to trust me on any hair-related matters.

So this morning, we walked over to the local beauty salon. Kaylee was the youngest client by about 60 years. But she hopped up into that chair and was so excited as the inches fell off. I wish I had taken more pictures, she made faces I've never seen before.

Mom made it through - though she refused to watch most of it. But she seems genuinely pleased with the results.

Besides, it'll grow back.

Playing with scissors

The photo should be self-explanatory.