Maybe all I need is a shot in the arm ...

Kaylee gets her two month checkup in the morning – and you know what that means. Big, scary needles in tiny, pudgy arms.

I'm not sure what all she's getting vaccinated against but I'm pretty sure it's just the regular measles, typhoid, SARS, ADD, anthrax, monkey pox and hippies. You know, the basics.

A friend of ours opted not to immunize her child – and her kid promptly caught a nasty case of the hippies. There were sandals and acoustic guitars everywhere. The baby's room reeked of wacky weed. With years of therapy, the child just might overcome her handicap. But she will probably always drive a Volkswagon.

Luckily, Kaylee will be spared any such fate. She's lucky to have such smart parents.

Working Girl

No ... not the Julia Roberts kind ... The Melanie Grifith kind ...

It's official. Rae is going back to work. (Not that there was ever a lot of doubt.) Today she enrolled Kaylee in daycare. It was slightly emotional, I had to talk her through it over the phone, but she got through it just fine.

We ended up with a nice place. One where they change the newspapers in the cardboard boxes at least once a week – more if the papers get soiled. Luckily, since I work for the newspaper and can supply them with yesterday's edition, we won't have to pay extra for replacement bedding.

Kaylee's response? Well, she hasn't said much about it. But she did poop on her mom's hand while she was getting her post-bath lotioning.

Workin' for the man

Rae just realized that she returns to work in one week.

She is not happy about this.

It's a good thing I'm the one who will be dropping Kaylee off at daycare. If we had to rely on Rae to do it, I don't know that she would leave her.

And now for something completely different.

It seems that lately all I post about is the bad stuff. Baby won't eat. Baby won't sleep. Baby won't stop screaming. I just wanted to point out that it's not all bad.

In fact, here's a lot of good from the past 24 hours.

Occasionally, Kaylee is happy. Sometimes, she is even happy for extended periods of time. These moments are extremely hard to catch on camera because: A) They go by so quickly and B) you're too busy playing with the baby to find the camera.

Kaylee got some culture today. If you count walking around a giant airplane parking lot culture. Grandpa Charlie really liked it. Kaylee mostly slept while strapped to dad's chest. Dad liked that part. (And the planes were fun too ... )

Tummy time is important for a child's physical and emotional growth. And with a tummy like Grandpa Charlie's to squirm around on, she should be first in her class.

It's been a rough couple of nights

Not that you can tell from this photo, in which she looks like a little angel, but she's got some horns just under the hairline. (How cute is that photo by the way?)

For the past couple of nights she just hasn't wanted to sleep. She'll go down for about a half hour, but then is up and wailing. The only thing that seems to work is sleeping with her. And since she doesn't sleep in our bed – one of us ends up riding the couch. I don't think Rae and I have slept more than an hour together in the same bed all week.

Such are the sacrifices of parenthood.

That and clothes which smell of sour milk.

Oh, and nasty looking spots on all of your dry clean only items.

And I am sure there are more to come. :-)

Dad's visit is going well. I've got the next couple of days off now, so Rae doesn't have to entertain him 24-7. (Not that he takes a lot of entertaning ... he's got a granddaughter to do that.) We're going to tackle a few honey-do's around the house and hit a museum or two.

And not having to get up so early will make those nights a little easier too.

Ummm, isn't this the desert?*

"Hey Mike, it says here in your paper that it's going to snow! Snow in Tucson, how about that?!"

"Snow? Here? The people who put that newspaper together must be smoking something!"

Not much later that day ...

"Holy crap."

Normally I wouldn't suggest taking a baby out in the snow while she's in her pajamas – but I'd say this is a special circumstance.

You can't see the snow in the background, but Kaylee's making good use of her monkey hat ...

... and her hat from Miz Allie.

There's snow in the forecast for tomorrow too. I guess Dad picked the right week to come visit. So much for leaving the snow behind in Illinois!

* I've got to apologize for rather poorly put-together posting. It's not really up to my usual standards – it's much like the rest of the drivel you can find on the Web. But I'm still a bit in shock from the weather. I thought I lived someplace warm. Guess not so much.

Grandpa, baby. Baby, grandpa.

Yeah – she was pretty much in a foul mood all night. But dad didn't seem to mind. (My dad that is. Too many dads now. It's getting confusing.)

Luckily the camera is able to capture moments which last only a fraction of a second. Isn't science amazing?!

Grandpa Charlie's comin'

24 hours until Kaylee meets her first relative.

Finally, proof to the outside world that she is more than a Photoshop creation.



Hope he likes changin' diapers.

Click for a better view ...

All you ever seem to hear is the negative stuff. So these pictures serve as proof that my baby is actually a pretty happy baby. Though it seems she is always at her happiest when Dad is at work.

Maybe she knows we'll be spending 99% of that paycheck on her?

Or maybe she's just filling her pants again.

Could go either way really.

As promised ...

Kaylee surprised us last night with wonderful five hours of straight sleep. She's been getting her rest in three hour chunks - so this was a welcome change of pace. Here's hoping it's the start of a new trend. (Six hours is considered sleeping through the night.) But on to what you really care about ... baby pictures:

She's still not quite sure what to do with this thing – but Kaylee is starting to figure out that red octopi make noise when you kick them. Now if she could only figure out what "kicking" was.

She's taking bath time pretty well these days – as long as you keep her warm. The second that warm washrag comes off you have one unhappy baby.

Eh – I've got nothing funny. Write your own caption.

A trip to the office

Rae brought Kaylee into the office for a visit yesterday. So for the rest of the day I heard things like "She's so cute" or "She's a little angel" but for the most part it was "Thank God she looks like her mother." But it got me thinking ...

Dear Baby Jesus (a Ricky Bobby reference – which if you haven't seen it, you should – if only for the antics of his children Walker and Texas Ranger), thank you for making my baby cute. With her cute big eyes, fat turkey legs and perfectly-shaped head. You see so many ugly babies out there and while I'm sure they grow up to be beautiful people; I'm very thankful Kaylee didn't have to start out her life looking like any of these guys:


And the camera is almost full (I've been a bit lazy in transferring new shots into iPhoto) I'll be posting cute baby pictures soon. I swear.

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Oh – and these new flash-over ads on the site are just miserable. I'm about ready to just go and register my own site ...

One last Baby Doctor visit ...

Rae visited the Baby Doctor this morning (while I sat at home with the baby – good times were had by all.) Everything is as it should be – which is good. But most importantly ...

... she's back down to her pre-pregnancy weight.

Ladies, feel free to send hate mail. You know the address. But Rae's happy, I don't think anything you can say will bring her down.

Three weeks until Kaylee's next appointment with the DOB. I'm interested to see just how much she's grown, because she's feeling HUGE these days.

Maybe Rae found a way to transfer weight from her to the baby?

A conversation with Kaylee ... *

A living room. It is late. Father and child are tired and cranky. Mother is passed out on the couch because she just can't sleep through this.

I'm upset! I'm tired and hungry!
(Kaylee is presented with a bottle.)
I'm too ticked off to eat! And that makes me mad!
(Bottle is removed from baby's mouth. Child fills pants with filth.)
Now I'm hungry, tired AND uncomfortable. FIX ME.
(Kaylee is taken to another room, stripped, wiped, creamed, diapered. She is quiet until the event is over.)
HEY! I said I was #@*&^! hungry!
(Bottle is returned and Kaylee begins to eat, only to knock bottle aside with a stray, flailing arm)
HEY! Bring that back! I'm hungry dammit!
(Bottle is returned only to be knocked aside again. Arm is pinned to her side.)
WHY ARE YOU CONFINING ME??!! AND WHERE'S MY DAMN DINNER??!!
(Bottle is removed. Father bangs head on wall.)
**INCOHERENT SCREAMING**
(Bottle is offered one last time, eating commences. Child passes out.)

Scene.

* Loosely translated from baby.

Love is ...

... continuing to talk calmly to someone who has been screaming incoherently at you for the past twenty minutes.

... not getting angry when someone pukes all over your clean sweater.

... rubbing pasty, white cream all over someone's bootie.

... waking up in the middle of the night to clean up someone else's mess. And the mess is in their pants.

... finding humor in someone pooping at you.

Not much new, not much time

So that's the end of my first week back at work. As a matter of fact – it's almost the end of my first weekend away from my first week back at work. We've been so busy trying to catch up on sleep (and paint the occasional bathroom) that I haven't had much time to post that which you desperately crave – cute baby pictures. So, without further ado:

I'm not really sure what's happening in this photo – and Kaylee apparently isn't sure either. Maybe I was still kind of loopy from all the paint fumes.

EDIT: I was going through some old posts. I was slightly off on the time (I actually predicted the approximate time Rae would start labor) ... but I had the date correct!

KAYLEE SMASH

Don't make her angry.

You wouldn't like her when she's angry.

Just like I thought ...

Went back to work today.

It sucked.

But staying home doesn't pay the bills ...

Dad's-eye view
(15 points if you can figure out what movie we're watching on TV)