Yeah. I'm a slacker.

The blog has been woefully neglected. Not enough time in the day. Well, now I'm sitting in a hotel room in Iowa, so I've got all the time in the world. Unfortunatly, all I have is my phone. So you get no photos or video (or spellcheck).

But you don't want photos this time. Trust me.

The largest development is one we'd rather not have. You see, Kaylee has started sticking her hands in her diaper. And that on its own isn't so bad. What's bad is that she does it when her diaper is dirty.

So instead of coming over and saying "diaper, dirty," she brings us a handful of baby brown. Or, like yesterday, she fingerprints her legs with it. Twice. In an hour.

And, of course, after she's covered in crap she decides to tell Rae "I poo."

Ah, the joys of parenthood. Maybe it's time to break out the dreaded "potty."

Kaylee's A to Z

A is for APPLE (abbah)

B is for BELLY BUTTON (bedhay buh)

C is for CHAIR (shar)

D is for DOWN (dow)*

E is for ELEPHANT (ehphan)

F is for FISHY (feeshee)

G is for GIRAFFE (raff)

H is for HI (hiee)

I is for ...

J is for JUICE (joos)

K is for KITTY (teeh)

L is for ...

M is for MILK (muk)

N is for NOSE (noh)

O is for ...

P is for PUPPY (boppy)

Q is for ...

R is for RIBBIT (rirrit)

S is for SPIDER-MAN (manman)

T is for TRUCK (shruh)

U is for UH-OH (upoh)

V is for ...

W is for WATER (wawer)

X is for ...

Y is for YELLOW (yeyow)

Z is for ...

20 out of 26 ain't bad.

* I can't put "Daddy" here because I replaced "Mommy" with "Moo" (Kaylee's word for cows) and then again with "Milk." Rae is a jealous, jealous woman.

Take a seat

For some reason, Kaylee's been obsessed with climbing up on the couch and just sitting. Swinging her feet. She has some difficulty doing this though – as big people furniture is a little out of reach for her still. So we decided it was time for her to have a chair of her own.

I've got to admit, my heart sank a little when she picked out the pink, plush princess chair (there was no Spider-Man chair to pick). I even tried to get her to switch to a nice red chair with Cars (the Pixar movie, not just generic cars) on it – but she held fast.

Crossing my fingers that Disney Princesses aren't the new MANMAN.

"Mayshar. Mayshar."
(That's "My chair." for those of you playing along at home.)

Random fun with photo filters

Riding in cars with boys

KAYLEE + MANMAN 4EVAH

Yeah ...

... it was a pretty good day.

It is Father's Day

Well, here's another Father's Day. I know you were all expecting a thoughtful, well-written post about what that means to me. But you're not going to get it.

You see, this is MY day. I'll spend it how I please. And rather than sitting in front of the computer for hours trying to tell the blogosphere how much I enjoy being a dad, I'm going to just enjoy being a dad.

I'm headed outside to sweep off the patio, blow up a little plastic pool, fill it with 90º water, dump in some ice and spend the morning "swimming" with my little girl.

But I hear you, faithful readers. "But what about us? We live to read this blog. We need updates on the kid," you cry. I've heard – no, predicted your pleas, and have a couple of treats ...

Treat #1: Kaylee's getting a little braver when it comes to the giraffes at the zoo. She's sooooo excited to go up and see them – but when it actually comes to feeding them, not so much. That big tongue starts sliming toward her and she drops the treat and cowers. Maybe next time.

Treat #2: Who says walking in heels is difficult? Kaylee figured it out in just a couple of minutes. That's right, the shoe addiction continues - this time with a pair of Mom's heels. There's some video of her clop-clopping around the house – but the AC and the shower going in the background make it unpostable. (The Monkeyhouse has certain standards to maintain after all.) But we're sure she'll put them on again – and we'll be ready to eliminate all background noise for your viewing pleasure.

Treat #3: Can you say video? I've been meaning to finish this one up for about a week – and just decided to stop editing it and call it done. They say that the average Internet viewer will watch one minute of video before getting bored and moving on ... but I decided you guys are above average – hence the insanely long running time of 4+ minutes.

Off to stick my feet in a kiddie pool. Happy Father's Day.

Fatherhood is ...

... trying to keep a straight face while telling your child what they just did wrong – when all you want to do is laugh.

... washing juice from the inside of a cup – and scrubbing off the food caked to the outside.

... putting your daughter's shoe on for the fifth time in just as many minutes.

... chasing a naked female around your house and having your only thought be "Please don't pee on the carpet."

Cute? Or sooooo cute?

It's picture day at day care – hence looking extra adorable this morning.
We'll see if the hair and dress survive until after lunch.

A dinner converastion with Kaylee

SCENE: A small kitchen adjacent to a dining room with a table and four chairs. KAYLEE and DAD entertain themselves at the table while MOM dishes up dinner at the stove.

KAYLEE: Momee? Bhytes?

(Kaylee is served a plate of Manwich, beans and mac and cheese.)

KAYLEE: Joos? Pees joos? (Almost a whisper.) Haat. Bow. (She blows on her food and takes a bite.)

(Mom delivers the cup of juice she left in the kitchen.)

DAD: There's your juice. Now say thank you.

(MOM brings a plate for DAD and herself and sits down. They all begin to eat.)

KAYLEE: (Chowing down.) Teetoo. Teetoo. Teetoo. Teetoo. Momee? (Points at MOM'S plate.) Bhyte? Cheeze?

MOM: Yes Kaylee. Mommy has macaroni and cheese too.

KAYLEE: (Points across table at glass.) Deenk? Wawer?

MOM: Yes Kaylee. Mommy has water.

KAYLEE: (Pats the top of her own glass.) Joos. (Back to eating.) Teetoo. Teetoo. (Undecipherable jabber.) Dahdee? (More jabber.)

(DAD looks at MOM. Both share a perplexed look. KAYLEE continues to eat, and jabber.)

END SCENE

About damn time.

I know I've been slacking. There has been a severe lack of updates lately. Some of you may have actually mistaken this for my sister's blog. But I'm back. And I come bearing an update. If you're nice – I might even keep it up this time.

We made a trip to the Doctor of Babies again the other day. Everything checks out good – and no shots this time around. But the kid's got a memory. She was fine in the doctor's office until we got into the exam room ... and as soon as she saw that paper-covered table she started wailing. And wailing. And didn't stop until well after everything was over.

The only real update out of the visit is something we all knew already – the girl's little. Hard to believe that she's a year and a half old and she only weighs in at 22 pounds. And we all know it's not for lack of eating ...

But I hear you. "Enough with the blah, blah, blah – get on with the photos." So here we go – I live to serve.

Kaylee's favorite pre-dinner game involves pulling everything out of the cabinets. And sometimes finding new places to put them.

Kaylee took a trip to Gymboree this morning – and loved it. It's basically a room covered in mats, with all manner of slides, parachutes, balls, lots of kids and a barely 20-year-old woman making a complete fool of herself (and seriously getting on my nerves). We're thinking about signing her up for a 12 week course – but it's a 20 minute drive from the house.

(And check out those boogers – mmmmmmmmm.)

And tunnels. Kaylee dug the tunnels.

Just kickin' back. Enjoyin' breakfast. Wonderin' why Dad hasn't yelled at me to get my foot off the table yet ...

Tonight at dinner, Kaylee discovered the wonder of apples. She likes the juice, she likes the sauce – I guess she just never realized that the flavor came in this easy to carry package.

Kaylee and I teamed up to draw "Man-Man" (how cute is that?) on the table.
The kid's responsible for the eye-beams. I have to take credit for the rest – even if it does look like a 7-year-old drew it. (To my defense, I was drawing upside-down.)

Yes Dad, these are the skills my college education paid for.

Just one of the many examples of why it's so damn hard to say no to the kid. Look at that face ... don't you just want to spoil her?

Update ...

... soon. I promise. There's photos on the camera just waiting to be downloaded ... but we've been busy playing Rock Band.

Kaylee likes Rae's singing. Crazy kid.

One month and counting 'til Sliders ...