All Souls' Procession

We forgot our good camera, so all you get is this phone pic snapped in crappy light.

Good thing the subject is so photogenic.

My family

She got the shape of my head right ...

Who knew?

Apparently my daughter is the missing bastard child of Axl Rose and Jackie O.

Look what we got

Who wants school pictures?

Happy Howl-O-Ween

We decided to try out the Tucson Zoo's Howl-O-Ween party this year. Members got in early, but unless you pre-ordered tickets the line was still several hundred people deep. Luckily one of us was smart enough to scout around and find a spot to buy tickets. That saved us about 20 minutes.

There weren't any animals out (except the tiger and elephant who apparently refused to go to sleep early) but there were plenty of pirates ...

... and wenches ...

... and unofficial recreations of Disney characters ...

... wicked queens and princesses ...

... and minions ...

... The Dune Sea Garrison of the 501st (please note that my loving wife managed to crop Princess Leia in her slave outfit from the picture) ...

... Hutts (I was very excited that Kaylee wanted her picture taken with Jabba – until I realized she thought he was a really ugly seal) ...

... and cows (I had to bribe her with a piece of candy, but watching her square dance with a dork in a cow costume was worth it).

All in all a great way to spend $12 and about an hour and a half with the cutest witch, ever.

Defenestration

Mommy, today I wanted to play with Liam, but he wouldn't play with me.

Well, sometimes people don't want to play the same things. What did you want to play?

Window.

Window? How do you play that?

Two people go up in a castle and one of them pushes the other one out of the window and they die.

Liam didn't want to be the died one.

Image: The Defenestration of Prague, 1618

I don't need to smile

This is what it looks like when you know you're cute.

It's officially October

There's a ghost on my front door and a witch in my living room.
Bring on the candy.

What do Mommies do?

Daddy. When I grow up, I'm going to be a mommy and a sister and have a baby.

OK, that sounds like a good plan.

Yes. That is what I'm going to when I grow up.

What about your other plans? Don't you want to be a brain surgeon? Or a soldier? Or a ballerina?

Daddy. Mommies can be whatever they want.

Oh, OK.

Yes. Mommies can be whatever they have in their drawers.

Oh, that's good to know. What does your mommy have in her drawers?

Ummmmm. Shirts. And bras.

Dem bones ...

Kaylee drew my skeleton at school today. And she was kind enough to give it hair.

Spooky Bones.

Mom! My bones glow!

Observations that are fun at 3 am.

I call it tree trimmings ...

... she calls it a dragon nest. I like her idea better.

The weary traveller

She's been a pain in the butt.

She didn't want to take a nap.

She didn't want to eat lunch.

She was hungry 20 minutes later.

But a quick power nap and M&Ms make it all better. Behold, the power of chocolate.

Where you at?

Right here.

Taken at the base of the Space Needle. (Sitting on one of the legs.)

Neck hurt?

If she has chronic neck pain later in life, I'm pretty sure we can figure out where it comes from.

Markers + car trip

"I was trying to trace my nose."

It's not a vacation ...

... without s'mores.

From me to you

We've always wondered if Pork Chop really likes Kaylee or not. He's a moody dog and has seemed wary of her ever since we brought her home. Well, when we woke up this morning he had left her a present.

Of the dead bird variety.

Next to her bed.

At least it wasn't a snake.

My girls

Bedtime never goes exactly as planned.

The next Baba Wawa

Despite her protests

I bought a new car.

It was becoming too much of a pain in the butt to get Kaylee in and out of the Mustang. So this week we set out to find its four-doored replacement. After much hesitation on all of our parts, Rae and I (well, mostly me) pulled the trigger on a VW Jetta Sportwagon TDI. Yes, a diesel engine.

Kaylee wasn't so sure about the purchase. In fact, she was down right against it.

But I don't want you to sell your green car.

But I like your convertible car better.

What can I say? My girl's got taste.

Things I never thought I'd have to say as a parent

Hey! Get Cinderella out of your butt.

Car shopping with the kid

Kaylee and I have been driving all over town looking for a replacement for my car. I love my car, but I think I've finally reached the point when I need four doors and some hauling capacity.

I can always replace MY Mustang with this one. She'll let me drive.

Right?

Bye, Uncle Ry

We're seeing a lot of Ryan this summer. Proximity and a cute 3-y-o probably have a lot to do with that.

Not that any of us are complaining.

Especially Kaylee

She digs the swings. The shoes, not as much.

Check out those size 10s.

Kaylee drew a cat

And since I can't frame the driveway ...
I share it here.

Girl's gots skills.

Room cleaning

Rae has been talking about thinning the herd when it comes to Kaylee's toys. So it was no surprise when I came home to the two of them organizing toys into "keep" and "donate" piles.

The pinecones on the right are in the "donate" pile.

The "keep" pile on the left extends for at least another foot ...

Also, no surprise.

She loves books

She is reading the phone book.

The phone book.

Seriously.

Last night as a single dad

Rae returns from Vegas tonight. And while we've had a blast, it will be great to have my wingman back.

Kaylee and I celebrated the night with Pei Wei. (I had Shrimp Pad Thai and she had Yucky Chicken.)

If you believe in fortune cookies, the two of us have something to look forward to.

A day in the park

It was only 101º today — so we decided it was a perfect time to visit the park.

And while we were there I decided to play around with my new toy. The embedded HD video is shot and edited entirely on the new iPhone.

Not too shabby.

I'm not sleepy ...

I need a shotgun

SCENE: A Tucson rooftop. Fireworks burst in the distance over a small mountain. A crowd of friends and friends of friends have gathered to overeat, drink beer and watch stuff explode.

KAYLEE: Daddy, I want to go sit next to that boy.

DAD: Oh, Christ.

She runs over to ETHAN and sits down next to him. She begins to talk to him only to see him run away and seek shelter next to his PARENTS. Undeterred, KAYLEE pursues him.

ETHAN: Mommy, I don't want to sit next to that girl!

KAYLEE: But Ethan! Look at me. I have brown hair just like you!

ETHAN does his best to ignore the girl. Kaylee begins flipping her hair and shaking her head.

KAYLEE: And look what I can do. I do this with my hair sometimes.

DAD: Kaylee, we don't flip our hair at boys.

PARENTS: Oh yes she does!

DAD begins to sob quietly as the mountain begins to burn in the distance.

Let them eat cake

After a morning of cursing, I have finally beaten iMovie into submission. All so I could share 220+ photos of Kaylee eating birthday cake.

You'd better love me.

What's for snack?

CRACK CHERRIES.

Princess Kaylee

All royalty needs a throne.
And shoes that look like alligators.

Uncle Visit 2010

Uncle James @Windy Point

Two uncles. One weekend. One spoiled little girl.

The beginning of the bear hunt.

You can find many, many more photos from the day here.

How she sees her Daddy

This year, my Fathers Day gift included  a portrait of dear old dad as seen by my little girl. It is the best kind of portrait. It is a cookie portrait. (I also got bacon. Really. Bacon.)

It makes me look a bit like a mutant Mr Potatohead, but it tastes better. (Or at least I assume it tastes better. It smelled good and I imagine plastic doesn't taste very good.)

Features of note include:

• Seperate legs, knees and feet
  
• Seperate arms, shoulders, elbows and hands
  
• My goatee
  
• And that big blue thing on top is my brain.
  

I'm very happy that my daughter thinks enough of my brain to include it.

History lesson

Daddy, the dinosaurs all died because the King of the Dinosaurs killed them.

They did?

Yes.

The King of the Dinosaurs?

Yes.

Who's that?

The King of the Dinosaurs is the T-Rex.

And he killed all the dinosaurs?

Yes.

Where did you learn that?

At my school.

Honey, I'm pretty sure the dinosaurs were killed by a drastic climate shift caused by a meteor crashing into the earth.

That's right. The meat-eater is a carnivore. And that means sharp tooth, like T-Rex. And he's the King of the Dinosaurs. And he killed them.

Oh. OK.

Queen of the Dinosaurs

You have to imagine her paper crown flopping in the wind for the full effect.

One week ago, I was on a beach

As I sit and write this, the thermometer is slowly creeping toward 100 degrees. The air is dry and still – the only movement from the ceiling fan buzzing above me.

A far cry from our trip to Southern California last week.

We knew we had a four-day weekend coming up. That's not quite long enough for a trip home, but we didn't want to sit around Tucson either. Luckily, the Marine Corps was kind enough to station Uncle Ry just outside San Diego and give him the long, holiday weekend off.

So we packed up the car and drove west.

There was lots of good times, good people, good food, a trip to the zoo (click here for Kaylee's POV), but most importantly – this was Kaylee's first trip to the ocean. I'm pretty sure she liked it.

And I'm pretty sure we'll be going back soon.

Kaylee and her Uncle Ry. They're like chocolate and peanut butter – two great tastes that go great together. Only I don't recommend eating them – they probably taste like people, not candy.

One of these two people failed to put sunscreen on their feet and was pretty miserable for the rest of the week. The other one just got a little brown.

The two of us dug a Kaylee-sized hole – but she was smart enough not to get in. So we dug a larger hole and buried Mom instead.

Even though Uncle Ry's E-Tool was almost as big as she is, I believe we found the perfect beach toy.

At first, Kaylee wasn't interested in the water. I think it was just too big and too cold. But then the tide started to roll in and she couldn't resist playing in the big waves. Or at least running away from them.

A game which Uncle Ry was more than happy to get in on.

This is one of my favorite shots from the weekend. If you listen closely, you can hear her giggle.

A rough day

It could have been worse.

After a mad-dash-morning getting everything ready (that we thought we had done already – but apparently not because we barely left the house on time), Rae and I dropped the kid off at New School today. There was a little hesitation on Kaylee's part jumping into things – a lot of hiding behind Dad's legs and feigning shyness – but once the teachers started engaging with her she was fine.

She even picked her own name tag out (and called them out for not drawing the "y" correctly) from the pre-written sheets. Gotta say, that makes a Dad proud.

By the time Rae returned an hour later with a brand new towel (yes, they started swim lessons today and we had to make a Target run because we forgot to bring a towel – geeks may now commence with the Douglas Adams jokes) Kaylee was fully into circle time and was more perplexed than relieved at Mom's reappearance. (Mom, what are YOU doing here?)

We didn't get any emergency phone calls – so she stayed all day. Upon pickup we learned that:

• We need to pack a bigger lunch. She ate all of hers and wanted more, more, more.
• She, in no uncertain terms, did NOT like the cold water in the pool and really did not like water in her eyes.
• She told her teacher she wasn't going to nap – and proceeded to pass out minutes later.
• She really wants a blanket to snuggle with. (That, I can fix tomorrow.)
• She got along with everyone fine and seemed to enjoy her day.

After further reflection, Kaylee now tells us:

• She didn't like her new school because it is different and wants to go back to her old school.
• She didn't like any of the kids or teachers.
• She REALLY didn't like getting water in her eyes.
• Also, she wants to go back to her old school. (Added again for emphasis.)

So I know the move is for the best, and I know she's just being dramatic – but when you add into all of this that I got called into work and wasn't there to pick her up today like I promised, I just feel like #1 Deadbeat Dad.

Tomorrow is another day.

Tomorrow we'll bring a blanket and a bigger lunch.

Tomorrow will be better.