Thursday, August 03, 2006

Back at the baby doctor

Rae was on her own this morning – no baby doctor for me – so Rae had to deal with one of the BDMs* on her own today. She called me immediately after - though there's not much to report. They measured her belly and checked her oil. She's good for another 3,000 miles.

In other news, (spin in chair, change cameras and smile for the audience) we received this in email this morning (thanks Mags) and it was just too good not to share. Even Rae laughed at them.

The Top 15 Fatal Things to Say to Your Pregnant Wife

15. Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby!
14. I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever!
13. Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl.
12. Damn if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella.
11. Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt.
10. Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!
9. I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?
8. Are your ankles supposed to look like that?
7. Get your *own* ice cream, Buddha!
6. Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today.
5. Got milk?
4. Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney.
3. Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!
2. Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water.
1. Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs forty pounds.

* Baby Doctor Minion for those not in the know. They are to the Baby Doctor as the flying monkeys are to the Wicked Witch. Except none of them are really evil. At least, I don't think so. Oh, and they don't fly.

3 comments:

Dad said...

Bumbling son that you are, you'll probably have several of your own to add to the list before this is over.

Anonymous said...

Mike... I thought you said dad didn't know how to comment.

???

Curses... he's getting smarter everyday. Soon he'll be figuring out how to answer his cell phone before it rings ungodly loud for ten minutes. All of my plans are foiled. Curses...

vized06 said...

Ever see that show on the Discovery Channel where the chimp learns how to use simple tools to get to his food?

Same premise here. :-D