Sunday, August 27, 2006

More baby shopping

Bought a crib today. A nice, solid hardwood number that converts to a toddler bed and then all the way up to a full size bed. We were looking at several sets from the department stores - but I made the mistake of reading the reviews.

For every one review praising the cribs there was another saying how shoddy they were, or how the baby got it's head stuck between the bars or the whole thing collapsed and burst into flames.

OK - I never actually read that last part in a review, but that's what it looked like in my head. Hence the purchase we made.

I hope Kaylee likes it - cause she's stuck with it for at least 18 years.

Friday, August 25, 2006

It's mid-week 26 …

… and Rae's belly is officially big enough that she can knock a can of Coke off the kitchen counter with it.


She could turn around and - BAM - Coke would go flying.

I'm not saying that she did that.

That would imply that either our kitchen counters are at my waist level - or that she has gained about 6 inches with the pregnancy.

She has smacked me with it though.

Kinda hurts getting whacked with a baby.

But it's one of those things you just have to laugh at.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Try blogging sheep*

I should be sleeping.

But instead I lay there and think about work and babies and work and babies and work and babies and work and ... you get the idea.

So instead I'm sitting here updating my oft-ignored blog. (You've missed me. I know it. Well maybe not YOU, but everyone else has.)

We've had a sudden influx of all things baby in our house. Boxes have been arriving and the stuff has started piling up. Most of it is second-hand, but that's fine, because I have no problem using things that have had a little bit of love already.

Especially clothes. Damn, baby clothes are expensive. But thanks to our sisters and our friend Lambert, we've got a good start on Kaylee's wardrobe for the entire first year. Lambert even sent along one of his girls' snowsuits. You know, just in case.

Not tired yet.

But it doesn't end there. We've got one of those diaper genie things - and enough refill cartridges to get us through at least the first week. We've got a baby monitor - which is really hard to test because one person has to talk in a normal voice while the other person screams "YES! I CAN HEAR YOU!"

I'm told there is even a very nice breast pump on the way. And apparently it makes a very amusing oogachaka sound when it is in use. It's supposed to be very amusing - but drawbacks include sore nipples and the sound is known to attract Germans.

Yeah. Not even a little sleepy.

So we've got all this stuff - and we don't even have a baby yet. What we do have is a room for the baby. Or, for now, all the baby's stuff. It's basically the guest bedroom - with the bed removed - and boxes of crap everywhere. I'm hoping we get it all organized and put away before Kaylee gets here - otherwise I know it's never going to get done.

OK, this isn't getting me anywhere. I'm going to go and try TIVO.

*It made sense when I typed it. Quit picking on me.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

It only hurts when I laugh ...

You know that cute thing Rae's nose does when she laughs?


For those who haven't noticed - or eaten dinner with the Rice clan - her nostrils flare whenever she laughs. It is a source of embarassment for her and infinitely amusing to myself and my family.

It just got better.

Now when she laughs - her belly button pooches out like a little sausage. I swear to God. I'll try to get it on video, but she's a little camera shy.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

This just in ...

I can actually grab a hold of Rae's belly button.

Even with her squirming and telling me not to.

For those of you who have never actually held a belly button - it's weird.

A Seinfeldian update

So there isn't much going on right now to fill you guys in on.

We haven't made any progress on the baby's room. We kind of need to go buy a crib and such before we can go any further there. We're not going to paint the room - we're going to leave it as is. Though we are going to tear down those hideous curtains that are in there. And maybe cover over that horrible stenciling the previous owner decided to put on the wall.

Yeah - we're definately painting over that.

So I did some research online. That didn't come up with much either. Apparently nothing cool happens in week 25. And after working 13.5 hours yesterday, I'm just not able to spin the boring stuff and make it interesting. You'll just have to find another monkey to dance and entertain you.

Because I can't do it. I don't have a monkey hat.

(I'm not going to let this one go anytime soon. Click on the comments to sign the "Becky should make Mike a monkey hat" petition.)

Friday, August 11, 2006

Mmmmmm … fruit.*

In February we had grapefruit

June brought cantaloupe

August? Watermelon.

What? You think I'm talking about … ?

Topics like that have no place here.


* It's a boob joke. It's funny. Really it is. Tough crowd ...

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Monkey hat

Today we got a hand-made monkey hat in the mail from my sister. Funny on it's own - but even funnier when you put it on the cat.* (We don't have a baby to model it and my head is just too big.)

In case you can't tell, the cat is not happy.

I, however, am.

Monkey hats are cool. If my sister loved me she would make me a matching one.

I might even be stupid enough to wear it.

Yeah. I'm stupid enough.**

* Inset of my cat added because Andrew said it would make the photo infinitely more funny. Personally, I'd like to add video - you really need to see her little legs flailing around to get the full effect.

**Just for the record, I am not actually wearing the hat. My head would strech the thing out. So my sister needs to make me one of my own. And matching gloves.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

From dad ...

Sure NOW I get warnings like this (edited, because it was just way too long):

For those with No children - this is totally hysterical! For those who already have children past this age - this is hilarious. For those who have children this age - this is not funny. For those who have children nearing this age - this is a warning. For those who have not yet had children - this is birth control. See what you have to look forward to? The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas.

Things I've learned from my Children (honest & no kidding):

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq.ft. house 4
inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.
8. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
9. Super glue is forever.
10. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
11. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
12. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
13. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes. (I can vouch for this one.)
14. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
15. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
16. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
17. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Happy birthday to Rae ...

It's a couple of days early - but I surprised Rae with trip to the spa today.
One haircut, a pedicure and a pre-natal massage later and she's one happy camper.

Rae says Kaylee must like spa days as she was kicking up a storm during the massage. I think she's just trying to get me to spring for another one. ;-)

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Back at the baby doctor

Rae was on her own this morning – no baby doctor for me – so Rae had to deal with one of the BDMs* on her own today. She called me immediately after - though there's not much to report. They measured her belly and checked her oil. She's good for another 3,000 miles.

In other news, (spin in chair, change cameras and smile for the audience) we received this in email this morning (thanks Mags) and it was just too good not to share. Even Rae laughed at them.

The Top 15 Fatal Things to Say to Your Pregnant Wife

15. Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby!
14. I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever!
13. Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl.
12. Damn if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella.
11. Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt.
10. Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!
9. I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?
8. Are your ankles supposed to look like that?
7. Get your *own* ice cream, Buddha!
6. Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today.
5. Got milk?
4. Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney.
3. Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!
2. Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water.
1. Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs forty pounds.

* Baby Doctor Minion for those not in the know. They are to the Baby Doctor as the flying monkeys are to the Wicked Witch. Except none of them are really evil. At least, I don't think so. Oh, and they don't fly.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Poppin' fresh

There's not a huge difference in Rae's profile since the last photo I shared with you a month ago. Especially with this outfit – the ever-growing belly is a bit camoflauged in this shot.

There is one small addition though. It may be difficult to see, so I took the liberty of pointing it out for you. That would be the red arrow in the picture.

Rae's baby-bump has a baby-bump of it's own. That's right, her belly button has gone from concave to convex. The button is popping – so the turkey must be almost done.

Mmmmmm … turkey … basting in a gravy of fetal urine …

I'm not quite sure what's going on here. I'm mostly distracted by the difference in color between Rae's arms and her belly. Conspiracy theorists claim that this photo is actually a composite of two different people. But I can vouch for the fact that farmer tan Rae just hasn't had much of an opportunity to wear that bikini this summer. ;-)