13 hours of labor later ...*

And I'm pleased to announce the arrival of Kaylee Marie Rice.

Mom and baby are both resting well at the hospital. I'm home taking care of my fatherly duties – letting the dogs out, emailing out photos and updating the blog. And then passing out.

THE STATS
Birthday: Thursday, November 30, 2006
Time: Approx. 5:20 PM
Weight: 8 pounds 12 ounces
Length: 20 inches
Hair: Much, dark and mohawked after a good shampoo
Eyes: Really too squinty to see – plus it's dark in those rooms

THE SHORT VERSION
Went in early, stayed late, had a C Section and all is well.


THE LONG VERSION**
4:30 AM – Rae wakes up with some rather uncomfortable contractions. Being the great wife that she is she lets me sleep in.
5:25 AM - That's enough. Rae wakes me up. I make tea.
5:30 AM - I update blog.
7:00 AM - Contractions are getting stronger. I go grab coffee and a breakfast bagel. This is the smartest thing I do all day.
7:30 AM - Rae calls ABD. We get the go-ahead to come into the hospital. There is much rejoicing. *yay*
7:44 AM - I update blog again while Rae breathes.
8:15 AM - We're checked into the hospital and Rae gets her initial check-up. Not much change since ABD visit - just more painful. Rae is put on a monitor and told to wait it out.
9:00 AM - Nice nurse tells us ABD wants to get Rae admitted and put on drugs to make contractions stronger and more regular. They have a room for us but no nurse. The move should happen in about an hour.
10:00 AM - Contractions are getting stronger. Rae is looking haggard and angry.
11:00 AM - Still waiting. In between contractions Rae resembles Jack Nicholson at the end of "The Witches of Eastwick."
Noon: Nice nurse comes back from lunch and is joined by ABD. Both are rather ticked off that we haven't been admitted yet – go to find out why.
12:45 PM - Nice nurse tells us it will be fifteen minutes.
2:30 PM - Rae is finally admitted, given an epidural and her Potosin (the contraction drug).
3:30 PM - ABD isn't happy with the baby's monitor levels. Breaks water and pokes around trying to get the kid moving. Rae flips to her other side.
4:00 PM - Again with the poking. Rae flips even further on her side.
4:30 PM - ABD decides baby isn't reacting well to labor. (Insert joke about father's work ethic here.) Says a C Section is the way to go.
5:00 PM - I put on a Halloween costume version of a hazmat suit while nurses buzz about Rae prepping her for surgery.
5:20 PM - Slice. Slurp. Pull. Cry. Kaylee Marie is born and MacBeth is scared.

If all goes as it should - Rae and Kaylee should come home in 3-5 days. And I'll spend the next week annoying Rae by helping her do all the things she thinks she should be able to do on her own.

MORE PHOTOS

The first ever shot of Kaylee – because I was in such a hurry to get into the OR that I forgot the camera. Funny how your wife being rushed into surgery because of your unborn child's unstable heartbeat can do that.

This is the only photo of Rae I have from today where she doesn't look like she was run over by a truck. But I still think she's cute.

Trust me. She doesn't STAY this quiet.

* I'm not spell checking this or anything. It's to damn late and I need to be back at the hospital bright and early. I'll edit it later. Please enjoy this raw, uncut look into the mind of Mike.
** All times are approximated but not exaggerated.

Going in ...

Just got the OK from the ABD to head to the hospital.

Hopefully the next post will have a photo with it.

Gee, you're up early ...

You know those old wive's tales about using castor oil or spicy food or sex to jumpstart labor?

Apparently sex works.

It's not time to go to the hospital yet, but we're getting there. More as it develops. Film at eleven.

Due Day +1

OK - sorry to get all your hopes up. I bet that since I didn't post anything all day you thought we had gone to the hospital. Not so much. It's just that the ABD appointment was in the late morning and then I had a full day at work.

Enough rambling Mike, tell us what's up!

Eh, not much I'm afraid. ABD says exactly what we've been hearing all along. "Could be any day, but things look good." Which is better than saying, We have some bad news. "Your "baby" is actually a giant tumor and the kicking you've been feeling is just a really bad case of gas," but actually just as disheartening.

Rae has been having contractions all day – some strong and some not so. We're hoping they will get a little more regular and I can take the day off work tomorrow. OK - I want that.

And the baby too. But a day off will be nice.

Anyway, regardless of how cozy the kid is, we scheduled an induction today. Friday will officially be our last days at work for a while – Rae is on the books to get drugged up on Monday. Unless she pops sooner.

We're hoping for sooner.

Maybe? [edited]

OK - so I went home sick from work today. Spent the better half of the afternoon passed out on the couch. Rae just called. She's on her way home from work and she's having some serious pressure and discomfort in her abdomen.

So either my kid's on time - or it's appendicitis. Either way, if things don't stop we'll be going to the hospital tonite.

Good thing I got that nap. ;-)

EDIT: Yeah, not so much. Things were going well – and then Gilmore Girls came on and everything slowed to a crawl. I swear, just when I thought that show couldn't get any worse. So check back in the A.M. – maybe something will happen overnight.

Baby day is here ... kinda

Well, the clock has counted down and Kaylee is still hanging out. Contractions were getting pretty heavy there for a while – but all but stopped after Thanksgiving. I've got a couple of theories on all this:

• Turkey coma. Rae ate a lot of turkey. And we all know that anything she ingests is also ingested by the kid. Perhaps she's still sleeping off all the tryptophan. (Not likely, cause she's still kicking up a storm.)
• She's comfy. She could get this from her old man. She's all curled up in a ball. It's warm and nice. She knows she's supposed to get up - but it's soooo comfortable where she is. I've had many a morning like this – granted I'm usually in a bed with warm sheets and not in a uterus floating in my own urine.
• She's lazy. She could also get this from me. There are some days that no matter how much you have to do, you just can't get off the couch. But this usually comes after a long week at work – and she's just been lying around for months.

Whatever it is, she'd better not get too used to her surroundings. Rae's got an appointment with the ABD in the morning where we should be scheduling an induction.

I'm not sure about the specifics of the medical procedure – but I hear it involves a car battery and some modified jumper cables.

Sorry Mary ...

Friday has come and gone - so we missed hitting my cousin Mark's birthday.

(For those not in the know, my sister gave birth to Alice on my other cousin's birthday.)

Not only did we not hit the deadline – but contractions have all but stopped. Kaylee's still rolling around and kicking, but Rae's not doing anything to push the kid out.

So the official due date is Tuesday and we have an appointment with ABD (Alternate Baby Doctor) Wednesday morning where they'll likely schedule an induction.

If Rae hasn't popped already that is.

Happy Thanksgiving!

From us to you. Yes, us. Rae actually approved my PhotoChop job.

Go figure.

Waiting ...

Visited with the BDM today. Since last week, Rae has dropped a couple of pounds (nothing drastic – don't worry) and has "thinned out" and dialated a bit more. (Sorry – more cervix speak.)

BDM says everything is going as it should – and thinks Rae will deliver sometime next week. Right on schedule.

Meanwhile the contractions continue ... we'll see if mass quantities of Turkey have any affect.

She keeps going and going ...

More contractions yesterday.

For most of the day – and into the night.

Maybe Kaylee will be a pilgrim baby after all?

Rae has an appointment with the BDM Wednesday morning ... we'll know more then.

One more big event down ...

Well, Rae managed to make it through her Maid (Matron) of Honor duties this weekend without dropping Kaylee in the middle of the ceremony. It was the running joke of the weekend. Though Rae was concerned for a bit - during the reception her contractions started to get pretty regular. But then slowed down again after we got home.

It was quite funny to watch Rae walk down the aisle and hear whispers of "She's due to pop any day now ..." from the peanut gallery.

Now we're just hoping Rae can keep her knees together long enough for Mel to get back from her honeymoon. Rae really wants to have someone other than me around – and I want someone around who can run to Subway for me while Rae's in her eighth hour of labor.

Speaking of deliveries – we packed up the diaper bag we're taking to the delivery room with us. Everything Kaylee will need to come home and then some is ready to go. We've also got all of our needs written down so I can throw another bag together when we're ready to go.

I'm not going to pack my toothbrush for what could be the next two weeks. I'm sure everyone around me on a daily basis will be thankful to hear that.

Next baby doctor update comes Wednesday ... unless Kaylee comes sooner.

Going well

Not much to report from the BDM. Rae put on a whole pound this week - I'm sure she was happy to hear that. BDM says Rae is making some progress – but she's not expecting Kaylee's arrival too soon. She estimated that Rae will go right up to her due date. Give or take a day.

Sorry I'm not more entertaining. Too tired to make any jokes. Maybe this weekend.

Must sleep.

Odds and ends ...

We're set to visit the BDM again Thursday morning. Rae seems to be getting contractions a little more regularly now – but no real strength to them. And they are still quite far apart. I'm still betting we hit – or go past her due date.

Speaking of Rae, here's the most recent picture.


She looks like she's about ready to pop, eh? Seriously, that belly is stretched out about a foot further than it's supposed to be. This is probably the one time in her adult life that my wife has not had a chest. But isn't she cute?

And Rae has been bugging me to post pictures of the nursery on here. We really didn't change all that much in here. No new paint. Same crappy ceiling fan. But the room sure says "baby." Must be the crib.
(Which makes a great clothes rack for when you're too lazy to hang up your shirts when they come out of the laundry. If you look closely, you can see just how lazy I am – I just moved my clothes INTO the crib to take the photo.)
But the big reason Rae wanted me to post pictures are the curtains. Rae made them – and she's very proud of them.

I'm just happy she finally used the sewing machine I bought her for her birthday last year.

No need to panic ...

... but Rae was awakened by three good contractions last night. She didn't feel the need to wake me up, so I'm not expecting anything soon. Nothing since then (other than the occasional Briggs & Stratton contraction).

Here's hoping she makes it through another week. She's the Maid (Matron? Maidtron?) of Honor in a wedding next Saturday. And if she has the baby – we're going to need to buy a smaller dress.

A good writer would put in a transition here to lead you into their next thought.

Last week while we were out to dinner there was a couple across the aisle with their three kids. They seemed like nice people, despite the fact that Dad couldn't seem to keep the back of his pants pulled up. The kids were pretty well behaved – for kids anyway. I really tried to pay them any attention. (Honestly, I was too busy rolling my eyes at the restaurant staff who seemed to have a "Happy Birthday" song for everyone in the room.)

But then on the way out the Mom stopped at our table and told us "Enjoy this while it lasts. By the look of you, you won't be eating dinner alone for much longer."

So we're off to dinner with some friends tonight. For the immediate future, this will likely be our last "nice dinner out" with friends that doesn't involve either:

1. A babysitter,
2. Wanting "fries with that,"
   
3. Praying the baby doesn't wake up before we can finish our entree, or
4. A large animatronic rodent and his pals singing about their love of skee ball.

And I'm OK with that.

I like skee ball.

18 days and counting

Went to the Baby Doctor again today. Got to see the actual BD instead of one of her minions.

Everything checks out fine. Rae's gained another three pounds (so much for that dream of staying under 160). BD also checked under the hood this week. It seems Rae has begun dilating. Not much, but she's started. BD says delivery could be tomorrow - but Kaylee is more likely to wait until later this month. I know everyone at our respective offices is hoping Rae goes past her due date. There's a lot we both need to get done.

Apparently Kaylee really wants to get out though. Rae reports that the kid spent the whole day pounding on her cervix. Actually, given her current position, I guess she was head-butting Rae's cervix all day.

It just occurred to me that I never really expected my wife's cervix to come up in general conversation.

Not that a blog* is a conversation - but you get the idea.

* As an interesting aside, did you know that blog is not a recognized word in the blogger.com spell check? It's kinda like if dictionary wasn't in that big book on my desk.

Full term

As of today Kaylee is pretty much ready for the world.

Any extra time she spends in the oven is just gravy.

Mmmmmmmmm ... gravy.


On a side note: Guys, if you see Rae, or another similarly pregnant woman, please resist the urge to tell her that she looks like she is "ready to pop." Apparently Rae's hearing this several times a day – and usually only from guys. (Bosses, co-workers, friends, strangers in the grocery store) She's starting to get a little honked off by it all.

Please don't drive my wife to homicide. My baby needs a mother.

Bee Dee Emm

Met with the BDM (Baby Doctor Minion for the uninitiated) this afternoon (and got out of work early to do so, bonus). Here's the highlights:

• Rae has put on five pounds since her last visit one week ago. She was hoping to stay under 160 for this whole thing. Looks like she'll be able to meet that goal - as long as she only puts on one pound in the next few weeks.*
• Four more days until Kaylee is considered full term. While they would like her to cook a little longer - she'd be a pretty healthy kid if she decided she wanted out.
  
• Rae is offically having contractions. Not the big "OH MY GOD WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?" contractions. Just the early ones. False labor or Briggs & Stratton contractions.** I'm sure she'll be swearing at me soon enough.
• BDM put in her guess of 7 pounds 5 ounces for Kaylee's birth weight. Any other guesses?
• BDM also "checked under Rae's hood." Cervix is thinning with no dialation yet. Belts and filters seem to be OK and she topped off the oil and coolant.
• Rae is officially carrying around her Baby Doctor records in her purse - so if she goes into labor she'll have them with her. Maybe I should carry around a set too - just in case Rae acts like every expecting mother in every movie I've ever seen.
• It is offically akward shaking the hand of the BDM after you've just seen her "check under the hood." Sure she wore gloves, but still ...

* I would like to take this opportunity to publicly thank my wife for putting up with all of the jokes I am sure to make in the next four weeks. It's very big of her. *snicker*
** Yes, I know that's not what they are really called. That was an attempt at humor. It only works if you know the difference between Briggs & Stratton and Brackston Hicks I guess. It helps if you've taken both child birth and small engines classes.

Counting down

It really hit me earlier today that the kid will be here in less than a month. (About 26 days according to the countdown clock ... if she's on time that is.)

I got to thinking about all the things I need to get done around the house before she comes. Cleaning, painting, yard work ... And then I started thinking about all the things I need to get done at work. (I won't bore you with those details - just be assured that they are numerous and probably unrealistic.)

Then I got to thinking about the fact that my daughter will actually be here ... and that I don't really care about the rest of it.

Housework will get done. The newspaper will publish. I'm just really looking forward to getting to finally meet my kid.

(I apologize for the lack of humor - or what I try to pass off as humor - in this post. I assure you it will not happen again.)